CollegeGameBalls: College Football at its Finest

Man Jerks off next to Woman on Plane

cgb — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 17:53:32 +0000

We have all been on the long, cramped and stuffy plane flight. We all have our own way to pass the time. Personally I like to think about which nubile women I would shack up with if a LOST scenario would occur from a crash. One way to speed the trip up, that has never entered my mind, is masturbating. However, Centava Dozier, a passenger on an American Airlines flight, alleges that the man who sat next to her did just that.

Dozier was on her way to visit family and friends in L.A., MyFOXHouston reports.

The suit claims Dozier was sitting in an empty row when the plane took off, and then fell asleep. When she woke up, she says she found a substance in her hair and a man masturbating in the seat next to her.

After reading the article some questions quickly entered my mind. One, who actually whips it out and does “The Bud” on a fucking plane flight? Two, even if it is accidental, how the hell do you end up getting semen in the woman’s hair sitting next to you? Three, how does no one else on the flight not see this happening? You cannot lift an ass-cheek to let out a silent fart without half a flight noticing. And finally four, how does someone not wake up to the noise of someone feverishly rubbing their penis?

Out of Conference Games I’d Like to Watch

cgb — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 17:32:02 +0000

During the college football season there are only a handful of meaningful out of conference games. This needs to change. Watching your team squash div 1aa cupcakes (except Michigan [Appalachian St is Hot HOT HOT!]) is great, but who doesn’t like seeing their team square off against a powerhouse.

Virginia Tech v Tennessee - These two schools are only 242 miles apart and have tried to set up a one game series before. Apparently both teams cannot agree on where to play the game. Let’s get this thing done already. Either make a home and home series or play a game at Bristol Motor Speedway.

Boston College v Connecticut - When Uconn joined the Big East they thought there would be many bitter, intense and hard fought games against BC for years to come. The hate between the two schools intensified when BC bolted for the ACC. Now that Uconn is starting to recruit a home and home against BC would be a great series to watch.

Rutgers v Penn State - Rutgers is beginning to assimilate some of Penn State’s highly valued recruiting territory into the Rutgers Nation. What better way to show New Jersey recruits who reigns supreme then by battling it out on the field. Also, a respectable out of conference game will help to boost the national respect for Penn State (and the Big Ten) who has been playing Florida International, Buffalo, Akron, Youngstown State and Notre Dame out of conference over the last couple of years.

Texas v Arkansas - I realize the two are playing in 2008 and 2009, but this should be an annual series. The former SWC border rivals loath each other and it makes for a hard hitting great game whenever they play.

LSU v USC - Les Miles shots at USC last summer started an off the field rivalry that I’d love to see played out on the field. Because of Miles’ and Carroll’s decision making and play calling USC and LSU games are amazing to watch (except against VT). Now imagine them going at each other. I think this game would be nothing short of incredible and all college football fans want to see the SEC’s best versus the Pac 10’s best.

If you got any others leave them in the comments.

Mike Brown Likes to Steal, Smoke Pot (allegedly).

cgb — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 03:24:17 +0000

Brown, who has started four games at cornerback for the Cavaliers, has been charged with one count each of grand larceny, possession of stolen property with intent to sell, alteration of serial numbers and possession of marijuana, U.Va. police announced Monday.

The stolen items in question are the endoskelton arm and central processing unit of a Cyberdyne Systems T Triple-Eight. Brown was attempting to scrub the serials off before selling them on the street. I can only conclude the money would have been used to buy copious amounts of marijuana and smoked to get “Mt. Fuji High.”

Brown, 21, is from Newark, N.J. In April 2006, he pleaded guilty in Charlottesville General District Court to one count of misdemeanor trespassing in connection with a brawl at a U.Va. fraternity on Rugby Road. He was ordered to complete 50 hours of community service. Brown originally was charged with a felony in that matter.

Even The University isn’t above Fulmer Cup entries.

inRich.com

Hee Haw: The Next Generation

cgb — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 16:49:05 +0000

I Need Some Deux Deux Deuxes

cgb — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 04:17:41 +0000

Its only the middle of February and I am suffering football withdrawal. Granted the last hit was the good stuff, a Super Bowl winning drive by Eli Manning. But if the draft and spring practices don’t start to hurry the fuck up I am going to lose it. I went to check the .com to see if there was any college football related article worth reading tonight, and there wasn’t. In fact, 80% of what they are writing about are arrests and suspensions.

Meanwhile, on my quest to read and absorb meaningful college football knowledge, I’m listening to SportsCenter. I’ve come to the conclusion that I am tired of Chris “Wine-O” Berman. Yes Chris we all know you and Tom Jackson have been playing grab-ass for 20+ years. This whole SportsCenter Greatest Highlight shit has escalated him into a level of personal hatred reserved only for Brent Musburger. Awful Announcing has pointed out some valid reasons why they think Berman + The Greatest Highlight = Suck. I just cannot believe ESPN is letting Berman make the call on all of these highlights. FYI ESPN: ASIDE FROM THE PLAY FAN REACTION AND THE ORIGINAL PLAY BY PLAY ARE TWO OF THE MAIN REASONS WHY THESE HIGHLIGHTS ARE FUCKING AWESOME! NOT BECAUSE OF CHRIS BERMAN.

I was at the gym and I got all amped that I would get to hear the Flutie Hail Mary call (non-Musburger edition) instead I had to listen to Berman. It was painful.

That is a classic call, better than any “Oh man how did he get behind Miami defender’s? You mean to tell me the receiver ran faster and farther than the safeties, knew to do so all on his own and that the ball would be thrown into the end-zone. When did this happen, yesterday? Oh man really that long ago… And the quarterback is the guy who played in Canada aye, the one who drop kicked an extra point. No shit huh. Well thanks for the clip Al. You fuck head.”

Greatest Highlight sucks and football needs to get back on television or something something.

Hit and Run Outside of Club Z

cgb — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 16:09:04 +0000

It seems as if clubs and WVU football players just don’t mix (right Pac Man?). Morgantown police are investigating the allegation that two WVU students were blitzed and beat down by a group of football players outside of Club Z in Morgantown. Among the assailants was Deion Sanders’ mentee and future all everything Noel Devine.

Once outside, Sangarie said someone punched him in the back of the head. Sangarie said he fell to the ground and was kicked and punched by several of the football players, including Devine and Sanders.

From reading the article it seems like nothing was done to provoke the attack. However, I am speculating the players were taunted for their horrific loss to Pittsburgh. I hope more details will emerge, but I bet the university will sweep this us quickly and quietly. The most punishment, if any, I’de expect the players to receive is to sit out against Villanova.

Let Mallet Play in ‘08 and Change Transfer Rules

cgb — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 04:07:19 +0000

The University of Arkansas will file a waiver on behalf of recent transfer Ryan Mallet. They are hoping the NCAA will allow Mallet to play immediately and not sit out the mandatory academic year. Mallet had committed to play football for the University of Michigan in 2007 and when called upon to step in for an injured Chad Henne he played well. However, his Michigan career was over the day Rich Rodriguez was hired as Michigan’s next coach. Mallet was a 5 star recruit and now the most he could’ve hoped for is being a stop gap until Rodriguez recruited a spread quarterback.

The thing that aggravates me the most about Mallet’s (and similar) cases is how the NCAA fails to realize the athlete is more tied to the coach than the university. When a recruit signs his letter of intent he commits to play for a university and the university commits a scholarship to him. This needs to be changed. A recruit should be allowed to to leave his commitment without penalty if the broker leaves. After all it is the coach that sells the recruit on the university and ultimately helps to determine his future via scheme and playing time.

Last February Mallet signed his letter of intent with Michigan because Lloyd Carr told him he would be the future after Chad Henne. Rich Rodriguez didn’t have to honor anything guaranteed / said / promised by Carr to any player and rightfully so. Is it fair the Mallet either stayed at Michigan to waste his talent or sit out of football 18months? No it is not. Big time football recruits go to college because they have to in order to make it to the NFL. Their college education may not be academic, but they should be able to leave for the best opportunity like any other student.

FUCK THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS 14-6 > 18-1*

cgb — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 03:42:42 +0000

The College Football Blog Awards 2007

cgb — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 05:14:12 +0000

Here is the rundown from EDSBS. THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL BLOG AWARDS 2008: BAILAMOS!

Best new blog: CollegeGameBalls. Yes I voted for my self. Is their some sort of shame in that…? I think these top posts over the last year speak for themselves:

Vote for CollegeGameBalls Here: http://mgoboard.com/suxors/dataentry/nomination-entry.php

Best community: EDSBS. I think this is pretty obvious. For Christ’s sake Verne Lundquist is a reader

Best writing: EDSBS. Orson is Mavis Beacon.

Best post: Not many people read it, but if this doesn’t sum up 99.9% of college football fans then I don’t know what does.

Funniest blog: Loser with Socks. AngryEer’s crazy ass rants and comments about Big East supremacy in an all SEC world are to die for. But seriously, LWS is just one big funny masterpiece.

Best analysis: Sunday Morning Quarterback. There is too much analysis going on there.

Best MSM blog: Is Stewart Mandel somehow not going to win this?

Best looking blog: I am going to go with LWS because there are always tits everywhere.

The Job Award: mgoblog. They lost to Appalachian State (hot!, Hot!, HOT!) and kept on truckin’.

Best audio: EDSBS Live.

Best photoshop: The Failboat

Best YouTube:

Best ACC blog: Eagle in Atlanta

Best Big Ten blog: Busted Coverage (formally Big Ten Tailgate)

Best SEC blog: Voluminous. I bet they wish their players are as dedicated to Tennessee football as they are.

MNC: Heisman Pundit: 365 days of the greatest award in college sports.

Carl, “Giants Win! Giants Win! Giants Win!”

cgb — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 03:53:06 +0000

Yes collegegameballs has become nothing more than Carl’s video warehouse.