Yes collegegameballs has become nothing more than Carl’s video warehouse.

Yes I am still on a posting sebatacle.

Jerry: Reading Arkansas football forum in disappointment. Holy grits and gravy I’ve been too caught up with my boy ROMO and that human sized meatball coach of mine. My watchful eye hasn’t been payin’ attention to ARKANSAS FOOTBALL in a dog year. I need to stop this embarrassment and find us HAWGS a new coach. Looks at the ceiling. God I promise to quit peepin’ on my boy GARRET pullin his pud if you lend a little help down here to ARKANSAS and Double J.

Bobby Petrino appears.

Petrino: What the hell… Where am I? What happened..?

Jerry: Hot damn! Giddy up, my prayers have been answered.

Petrino: Jerry Jones… What the fuck is going on?

Jerry: Looky here you big brimmed hat wearing sorry excuse for a NFL coach. I made a little deal with the man upstairs to send me a coach and here you are.

Petrino: You want me to coach the Cowboys? I’m 3-10 they’re 12-1.

Jerry: Boy you are crazier than Nate Newton on opium and any piece of Dallas coochie that believed ole Aikman would marry her. Combined!!! I already got me a coach and a coach in waitin’. I need your ass to fix the coachin’ problem at ARKANSAS.

Petrino: Arkansas huh? This is an easy way out of an unforeseen difficult situation. You think they would want me at Arkansas?

Jerry: Right now ARKANSAS would take a 5′ 5″ pile-o-shit as their next coach. The’ve been rejected more than a 65 year old whore.

Petrino: Alright. I’m interested. How are you going to arrange all of this?

Jerry: You leave that to me. I’m ARKANSAS booster num-er-o uno. There ain’t nothing I want that don’t happen. Hold onto your pecker and let Jerrah work his magic.

Pulls out special Arkansas phone from his middle desk drawer.

Jerry: HELLO FRANK, it’s JERRAH JONES.

Frank Broyles: Yes Jerry I know, the phone you are calling from is one we gave you and it’s a direct line. How can I help you?

Jerry: I found our next head coach. My boy BOBBY PETRINO. He’s willin’ to come to ARKANSAS.

Frank Broyles: Jerry that’s great news. We have been scratching our heads here trying to find a coach. How did you manage it?

Jerry: Does a farmer ever reveal how he gets his chickens and pigs to fuck?

Hangs up the phone.

Jerry: BOBBY just you keep hanging tight. Go ahead and fire up another round of pocket pool while I call up my old fuck buddy Arthur Blank.

Picks up desk phone and dials.

Arthur Blank: Errrmmm Hello. This is Arthur Blank pleased to make your acquaintance. Now how may I help you?

Jerry: ARTHUR this is JERRAH JONES. Looky here you greasy haired son-of-a-bitch. BOBBY PETRINO isn’t going to be coaching the Falcons anymore.

Arthur Blank: Oh Jerry how nice of you to phone. pauses. Pardon me? I must have misunderstood you.

Jerry: Nope ya heard right you should’ve been mafioso. I spoke to ole BROYLES down at ARKANSAS and he’s gonna be the new head coach there.

Arthur Blank: Preposterous, he is under contract and is the one man who could get us out of this mess and help to rebuild our franchise.

Jerry: Jibba-Jab, Jibba-Jab. There ain’t one god dang thang you are gonna be able to do about this. So you might as well start looking for a new coach now.

Starts to hang up phone.

Arthur Blank: Jerry please, let’s ta…

Hangs up phone.

Jerry: Alright there short stack zip your pants up, pack your shit up and get on down to Fayetteville.

SOOIE PIG I’M FUCKING CRAZY. WOOOOHHH!

This is a tribute to the great work of Big Daddy Drew and his Wade and Jerry Posts.

Gay Falcon fans aren’t holding Joey Harrington’s off-season wedding against him and are getting behind their quarterback. 

“I’m excited about the season and yes, I find Harrington attractive. Who wouldn’t?” says Gregory Hendricks, a gay Falcons fan in Atlanta. “Even my gay friends who don’t like football, they like him. All of my friends who hate sports, once they see him they say, ‘Hey, I’ll go to a game to see him.’”

Mike Horton, a gay football fan in Atlanta who roots for the New England Patriots, says Harrington may change his perspective and prompt him to give the Falcons a second look. “It’s interesting what an extreme opposite Harrington is to our previous quarterback. I like the fact that he’s suave and polished, but boy, is he pretty. I think I might try to make a few more games this year,” he says.

This definitely sounds like the typical conversation among women discussing football.

One can only conclude that new Steeler’s Mascot Steely McBeam is, “omg so upset and jelous” that no men are finding him sexy and sophisticated.

Seriously though, I think Harrington is going to have a better year than Eli Manning.  Petrino is going to be aggressive and throw the shit out of the ball and the 1st round WR picks by Falcons are actually going to be coached to catch it.

The Steelers have settled on the franchises first team mascot. After careful consideration of more than 70,000 applicants Steely McBeam, submitted by Diane Roles, was chosen. The following questions quickly come to mind: how awful are the other 69,000 names, is Diane an actual Steelers fan or a Cowboys fan living in Pennsylvania and finally is this name any better than Pound me in the Ass Steel Neil?

VTBaz has suggested renaming the team Queerlers.

Thanks to With Leather for this gem.  As a die hard Giants fan I can say with confidence Manning has had no more than 3 great games in his career and this year is make or break.

Everyone is making a big deal about Brady Quinn, one again, looking \ acting \ dressing like a homo.  However, I just can’t get passed the fact that there is something else better than football out there  for AJ Hawk.

1. AJ Uruk-Hai Hawk – AJ served his master Sauron well in conquering Ithilien and destroying the city of Osgiliath.
2. Hawk – American Gladiator: Lee Reherman, step back!  One can only conclude that AJ would have pitched a career shutouts in Powerball,  The Wall, Break Through and Conquer.  It is a shame he was prepubescent when the show originally aired.
3. Hawkos – Musketeer:  Never again will the Frenchman be accosted for smelling of cheap perfume infused with body odor.  Not with Hawkos guarding the streets of Paris!
4. King Kong Caves – 80’s Porn Star:  King Kong Caves would have laid pipe to 1000’s of lucky ladies.