After an eighth straight loss to USC, a second home loss to Navy in three years and disappointing finish against the Pitt Wanstaches speculation for who will replace Charlie Weis has taken the Interwebs by storm. Athletic director Jack Swarbrick says he’s got the buyout money (via The Blue-Gray Sky) tucked away under his 11″ Serta California King, which is as good as saying the final nail is in the coffin. It’s never been about fronting money at Notre Dame, it’s about winning enough games to maintain their television contract, getting an annual payday from the BCS and being in the hunt for the National Championship. The University simply wants a return on their investment.

Bob Davie, Tyrone Willingham and Charlie Weis all proved that being head coach at Notre Dame is too much for one man. Going forward it’s unlikely that the Irish will be able to pull an elite coach such as: Urban Meyer or Bob Stoops so why not hire a group of men, supermen in their own right, otherwise known as The Notre Dame Brain Trust, to collectively coach and run the day-to-day operations of the team.

Regis Philbin

Position: The face of Notre Dame football
Responsibilities: Media whoring, damage control, master of propaganda
In Short: Regis will be the iced over slab of beef at the podium to heal the wounded eye of Notre Dame after any loss. He’ll remain as host of Live with Regis and Kelly in order to continue to throat fuck Americans with all things Irish. Continue Reading “The Notre Dame Brain Trust” »

Magglio Merkin is an ‘06 Western Michigan alumnus who enjoys swearing, Saturdays in the Big House and slaying misinformed Internet commenters. He’s currently pursing a graduate degree at Michigan. He lives by the motto, “Drinking is Fun!”

I know what you are thinking. How can Rich Rod not be the worst at everything imaginable, ever, right? Are you sure he is actually good at something? We haven’t heard about one thing he is good at besides being the losing-est loser ever, LOL. We want Jim Harbaugh and his shitty education!

NSFMF?

Continue Reading “THIS JUST IN: Rich Rodriguez is not bad at stuff?” »

This is our new Thursday night thread. We hope YOU our readers and friends in the blogosphere pop your heads in and engage in a little conversation.

This is a weekend of under cards, but let’s take a look at the inner beauty.

Florida State 28 @ North Carolina 26 – To date this is the least exciting Thursday night game of the season. FSU is fighting for bowl eligibility and North Carolina needs a big win at home to feed their fan base. The ‘Noles have proven they can put up points while North Carolina has struggled  to find their groove. FSU’s defense has been suspect, but is good enough to hold the Heels in check.

South Florida 13 @ Pittsburgh 20 – Don’t punch me in the balls Wanstache.

Georgia Tech 27 @ Virginia 17 – From here on out, for obvious reasons, I’ll have my eye on Georgia Tech. For those who turn a blind eye to ACC football, Virginia Tech needs our engineering brethren in the Dirty to lose so we control our own destiny in the ACC again. The Jackets haven’t won in Charlottesville since 1990, but unfortunately their offense will be too much for the Cavs to handle. They’ll grind out the clock and UVA will waste half of their precious possessions.

Boston College 27 @ Notre Dame 30 – Brian and Jeff took some time away from knitting new tights for dance class to take a look at the history between the Eagles and Irish. The Eagles are riding a six game winning streak into South Bend, but we’re picking the Irish because Boston College has been outscored 21-73 on the road this year. The winner will receive representation in the Jesus graphic above. Current Jesus Cup standings have been provided for your convenience.

Continue Reading “Divine Predictions. Thursday Night Open Thread with Jesus.” »

H/T: calcio via The Something Awful Forums

One reception, ten yards and a double-dose of the bird. Real posts are coming up later in the day.

We haven’t done this in a while, we think it’s like riding a bike, but tell us if we’re doing it wrong.

Jenn Brown is college football’s newest sexy blonde and FOTP has her covered from all angles.

Fried Pies–An older woman’s outer lady business. (Vadge)

The thrill of victory and agony of defeat. Purdonkulous victory by the Boilers over the Buckeyes. Man, it was great being down there, and there’s no better way to leave a field than through the field gate surrounded by thousands of smiling fellow Boilers–Boilerdowd of Boiled Sports. The warriors draped in scarlet and gray are questioning accountability, desire and competence. Georgia Tech’s win over the Hokies had Winfield and Dane partying over at President Peterson’s house where afterward they no doubt retired home, zipped themselves into adult sized onesies, and watched bootlegged anime. Good game guys. From here on out we’re siding with BCO, one game at a time, and no it’s not all Brian Stinespring’s fault. And it can always be worse. Continue Reading “Around the Interwebs” »

This is our new Thursday night thread. We hope YOU our readers and friends in the blogosphere pop your heads in and engage in a little conversation.

Cincinnati 30 @ South Florida 21 – I’m taking Cinci because of Tony Pike, Tony Pike and Tony Pike. He’s been a machine and the Bearcats have won on the road in a tougher venue (Corvallis, Oregon [St]). I’ll be focused on the play of B.J. Daniels and how he responds playing in his first major home game. The boys in green over at Sparty like Cinci too.

Oklahoma 38 versus Texas 31 – I haven’t been impressed with Texas lallygagging against Wyoming, Texas Tech and Colorado. I have a man-crush on Sam Bradford; respect the golf skills. On the outside (and I stress outside) chance VT runs the table we’ll need helping getting to the MNC and a Sooner win would be just that. So my pick is based 25% with my head and 100%heart, because I’M ALL HEART BABY. And for shits and grins: know your rivalry.

Continue Reading “Divine Predictions. Thursday Night Open Thread with Jesus.” »

Hello, I hate you.

Everything is more complicated than you think. You only see a tenth of what is true.
You see a team that is 4-0 against a team that is 1-3.
You see a ranked team apparently on the verge of some great season.
You see a team that is disappointingly staring their entire season in the eye in only week 5.

Continue Reading “Synecdoche, East Lansing” »

It was a long and lonely trip through a horrible fog to Ann Arbor last Saturday. When you are driving east on I-96 you really don’t see anything, but State fans until after you pass Lansing… especially these days. I picked up my buddy Tuna a little east of Lansing just after 9AM and a funny thing happened, the fog lifted.

Continue Reading “Michigan Football: Back?” »

I remember being a little kid watching the 1991 Rose Bowl in the basement with my dad. I can remember the summer sausage slices with the Club crackers that we never got to eat unless it was a special occasion. The walls were green paisley wallpaper and the carpet was orange and brown shag. Even though I didn’t know what was going on I can recall being very nervous as if the fate of the world relied on this single game. Continue Reading “Longest. Off Season. Ever.” »