After an eighth straight loss to USC, a second home loss to Navy in three years and disappointing finish against the Pitt Wanstaches speculation for who will replace Charlie Weis has taken the Interwebs by storm. Athletic director Jack Swarbrick says he’s got the buyout money (via The Blue-Gray Sky) tucked away under his 11″ Serta California King, which is as good as saying the final nail is in the coffin. It’s never been about fronting money at Notre Dame, it’s about winning enough games to maintain their television contract, getting an annual payday from the BCS and being in the hunt for the National Championship. The University simply wants a return on their investment.

Bob Davie, Tyrone Willingham and Charlie Weis all proved that being head coach at Notre Dame is too much for one man. Going forward it’s unlikely that the Irish will be able to pull an elite coach such as: Urban Meyer or Bob Stoops so why not hire a group of men, supermen in their own right, otherwise known as The Notre Dame Brain Trust, to collectively coach and run the day-to-day operations of the team.

Regis Philbin

Position: The face of Notre Dame football
Responsibilities: Media whoring, damage control, master of propaganda
In Short: Regis will be the iced over slab of beef at the podium to heal the wounded eye of Notre Dame after any loss. He’ll remain as host of Live with Regis and Kelly in order to continue to throat fuck Americans with all things Irish. Continue Reading “The Notre Dame Brain Trust” »

Make it rain. Saturday’s forecast calls for 1-2 inches of rain and agony. Inclement weather always makes for more interesting contests and in most cases turns a game into a defensive struggle, advantage Hokies. furrer4heisman has posted his spectacular game guide, What to Watch. Obviously we’re going to be keeping our eye on Bro Montana.

Orson + Paint explain why tOSU takes more shit than Oklahoma for their recent #fail. It’s a logical explanation that will make graphic artists everywhere cringe. However, we do think general disdain for the Sweater Vest is part of the formula. Oh wait, that is also explained by Orson’s model. Continue Reading “Around the Interwebs” »

Mizzou wins the Journalism Bowl. But 14 point underdog Northwestern (especially their defense) put up a most valiant effort losing to the Tigers 30-23 into overtime.  I couldn’t find the video of Jeremy Maclin’s amazing punt return before the half so here’s Chunk Daniels attractive sister wigging out.

Patrick Nix wasn’t comfortable in the missionary position. Nix was fired as Miami offensive coordinator. He cites differing offensive philosophies as the reason why he was unsuccessful.

But there were obvious philosophical differences between coach Shannon and I in offense. I wanted to be a little bit more wide open — no-huddle, spread out, go for it. And he wanted to be more two-back, conservative. It was a fine line in trying to balance the two. And not that one is better than the other, it’s just a different philosophy. Both ways can win, just different philosophies.

Lining up and pounding the rock is fine, but I agree with Nix. The Pair of Tongs, Splitting of a Bamboo and The Lotus are much sexier.

Shockingly Football Players Score Much Worse on SATs than University Classmates… Much, Much Worse

Virginia Tech needs to beat Cincinatti. Gobbler Country takes a look at four reasons why the Hokies need to win the Orange Bowl.  I agree with all of them. A win would rejuvenate a currently bleh Hokie Nation’s opinion of where the program is heading.

Longtime Tennessee defensive autocrat John Chavis will be taking the defensive coordinator position at LSU after being ousted by the Vols for Monty Kiffin.

Around the Interwebs is a whenever-the-eff-I-feel-like-it-a-week summary of the day’s news in college football. If you’de like your link to appear email it to cgb [at] collegegameaballs [dot] com.

Fuck You Blacksburg. News out of the motherland could not have been worse over the last couple of days.  On Tuesday 4 star QB Kevin Newsome chose to watch JoePa die slow play for Penn State over Virginia Tech. After Pat Devlin transfered Newsome would only have to wait one year to start at PSU and that was the major selling point. In Tyrod we trust, but a backup plan would be nice.  I never thought I would cite her but Heather Dinich reports Jim Weaver has put the kibosh on a head coach in waiting plan for Bud Foster.

“I’ve talked to our president, and I’ve talked to coach [Frank] Beamer and we see the coach-in-waiting concept as something that’s viable for a year, maybe a maximum of two years if you know there’s going to be transition, but coach Beamer could be here another eight, 10, 12 years and we just don’t think that’s the kind of arrangement we want to have with that kind of tenure still possible,” Weaver said.

I don’t think I can handle Beamer’s “put friends in high places” approach to staffing decisions into my late 30s.

Watching this video made me feel a little better.

Now that Michigan Defensive Coordinator Scott Shafer has been Tony Franklinned who are his potential replacements?

Auburn booster places $5,100,000 call. Read this for yourself and formulate your own opinion as to how valid it may be.  Winfield has heard the same rumor. He lives in the south so maybe there is some truth to it…

Sam Bradford’s girlfriend is hot. That is all.

Around the Interwebs is a whenever-the-eff-I-feel-like-it-a-week summary of the day’s news in college football. If you’de like your link to appear email it to cgb [at] collegegameaballs [dot] com.

Why are people hating on Billy Sims for showing a little Sooner spirit at the Heisman ceremony on Saturday? Its a fucking college football award show people, not church.

Auburn was cool with Turner Gill being black, but not his wife being white.

ESPN.com football writer Mark Schlabach told “Outside The Lines” today that two other SEC coaches told him, straight up, that Gill would never get the Auburn job, because he’s married to a white woman. Charming.

Bryan Stinespring isn’t going anywhere. Fuck! Coach Frank Beamer has announced he plans to keep his coaching staff intact. After the 2005 season the Hokie offense has been pathetic and inept, ranked 99th in 2006, 100th in 2007 and is currently 107th.

Random Deliciousness. Gobbler Country sticks it to the Heisman, NCAA the NFL Way and Leach and Harrell talk pirates with President Bush.

Around the Interwebs is a whenever-the-eff-I-feel-like-it-a-week summary of the day’s news in college football. If you’de like your link to appear email it to cgb [at] collegegameaballs [dot] com.

Auburn has hired Iowa State’s Gene Chizik to replace fired Coach Tommy Tuberville.

I am just going to shit all over Auburn right now, a school I no longer respect.  Could you’ve fucked up more by replacing Tuberville, who led the Tigers to an 85-40 record (7-3 against Alabama), with Gene Chizik. Nope, this is definitely the Holy Grail of coaching fuck ups. Congratulations, you’ve just ceded control of the state of Alabama to that other school in Tuscaloosa.

Update: After the jump, watch a video of Auburn fans heckling athletic director Jay Jacobs at the airport. Continue Reading “Auburn hired Gene Chizik. Wait What?” »

Fox 10 News is reporting that Will Muschamp will be announced as the new head coach of Auburn University sometime today. By accepting the position he proves this “Head Coach in Waiting” phenomenon is a fucking joke.

Congressman Joe Barton, BCS Killer. The Texas representative plans to introduce a bill that calls to replace the BCS with a playoff. He hasn’t figured out any of the details yet, but figures this is a great way to kiss the ass of President Elect Barack Obama.

The best way to stop that, he said, is to prevent marketing a postseason game as a national championship game unless it is the result of a newly created playoff system. While it doesn’t lay out how that system would work, the bill does say that all Division I, Football Bowl Subdivision teams should initially be eligible at the start of every season, according to the measure by Barton; Bobby Rush, D-Ill.; and Michael McCaul, a Republican whose district stretches from Austin to Houston.

Mike Leach has taken exception to his star quarterback not garnering an invite to the Heisman ceremony.

If Graham is not invited to the Heisman, they ought to quit giving out the award

AU REVOIR, DAN. Florida offensive coordinator Dan Mullen will be the new coach at Mississippi State. I give it three years before he is Croomed.

Sorry Auburn fans, Steve Spurrier will not be your next head coach.

Beanie Wells doles out some whiplash

Around the Interwebs is a whenever-the-eff-I-feel-like-it-a-week summary of the day’s news in college football. If you’de like your link to appear email it to cgb [at] collegegameaballs [dot] com.