While residing in Blacksburg, I made one exception a year to travel to Tennessee. Crazy Herb’s Fireworks in Shady Valley, TN was an annual destination a week before I celebrated Lady America’s Independence. A boy needs both alcohol and explosives, not glorified sparklers, to blow off some fingers.

I don’t like Tennessee. Rocky Top is a horrible song. Our orange is better. Beat Tennessee and Happy New Year to everyone not on top of Rocky Top.