Because a Snuggie won’t do when the weather outside is frightful during the Joelidays.

H/T Luke

Delany’s Dozen. Big Ten Expansion has been the hot topic during this brief college football sabbatical. We tossed out our (reasonable) suggestions awhile ago. But we hope the Big Ten goes hard at Texas and Nebraska; let chaos reign. Dan Shanoff has an interesting take and thinks Navy as a football only member makes perfect sense. His thesis is built upon the idea that a championship game isn’t a factor for Big Ten expansion. Whether it is or isn’t, we think it is, there will be a Big Ten Championship Game if the conference expands. No money will be left on the table.

U Inspired Dynasties. Conquest Chronicles serves up some spicy food for thought. Was the Trojan’s “modern-day” dynasty on par with Miami’s? If everything else is a push we’ll take Miami solely for the Vice City nightlife. Although, one thing we’ll point out is Miami had 3 consensus and 1 split Media National Championships, while USC had only 1 and 1. Continue Reading “Around the Interwebs” »

Because the tears will cleanse and bless this heathen of a blog via FOTP

I see London, I see France, I see Al Groh’s underpants and it scared me for life. Former UVa assistant and University of Richmond head honcho Mike London will be announced at the next coach at Virginia today. Color me meh. Furrer is proclaiming the rivalry is back, I disagree. UVa might pull a couple of recruits as waves from the hiring splash, but it will take a win on the field to turn the Commonwealth Cup back into a rivalry. We still think Ron Prince would’ve been the best choice.

College Football Championship Week in Graphs. Swindle accurately describes the, “He went to Jared!” commercials as the intersection of horseshit and total horseshit.

Bowl Swag. The Capital One Bowl is lavishing players with a party at Best Buy ($420 limit), while the Hawaii Bowl is giving Kahala Aloha shirts. Only size medium are left. And how can anyone think giving out footballs to football players is a good idea.

A story of one Alabama fan and his turtle Julio. We were certain the kid was going to eat the turtle at the end.

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Dry-Erase Marker Art FTW.

ECU and Conference USA are clashing over midfield logos for the Championship game ECU hosts Saturday. ECU wants the badass pirate skull they just paid for at midfield, CUSA wants their logo. I was looking forward to seeing the skull again too.

For some reason it led some ECU SID to create this completely in dry erase marker:

Is it even a choice?

Fallout from the ACC Fail. In typical Atlantic Coast fashion top dogs Georgia Tech and Clemson lost to middle of the pack SEC schools, rejoice ESS EEE CEE homers. Block-C places the blame on Dunce Dabo and From the Rumble Seat sees clouds, but the sky isn’t falling. We still think this weekend’s ACC Championship Game will be the most entertaining since Virginia Tech-Florida State in 2005.

Writing off Coaches. Two phenomenal pieces: Orson on Bowden, and Brendan on Al Groh.

Championship Rematch? Theoretically, yes, it could happen. Will it? We don’t think so. The voters set the precedent in 2006 when they put Florida in the MNC against the Ohio State instead of Michigan. If total chaos plays out on Saturday, the human voters will get wind (via BCS math gurus) of how to vote to avoid said rematch.

The 2009 #ArnBowl in photos, it’s our favorite feature from Friends of the Program. And, bonus, a Taylor Hicks sighting.

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The Mirror Lake Jump: past, present and future.

Mark Mangino, the man Brent Musburger called The Big Teddy Bear, is a fat and a volatile dickhead. Jason Whitlock thinks Mangino being obese is at the heart of his problems and rage. So much for the jolly fat man stereotype. I disagree, but whatever the cause, incidents like this (via edsbs.com) have overshadowed the turnaround and miracle working he’s done on the field at Kansas.

I told him this wasn’t relevant to this ticket and he said “This job gives you power, doesn’t it? You feel real fucking powerful walking around like a big shot…He got back in his car eventually, “You just don’t like talking to me because I’m ethnic, just because I talk with my hands.” He then went on to tell me how important he was to this university and how he doesn’t have time to spend dealing with this crap.

Rock Chalk Talk has a running list of what’s actually gone down and what’s suspected to have gone down. Continue Reading “Around the Interwebs” »

Happy Veterans’ Day to all the actual soldiers out there.

The Entire Nike Pro-Combat uniform collection, sloganized. A must have for every jersey whore. We took a look at the Hokies’ “Good Guys Wear White” inspired duds yesterday and we stated it could’ve been worse. We were right, click the link and check out LSU, FSU and Miami.

Eye-Gouging revisited. Tomahawk Nation busts out the video and still evidence of Clemson’s Andre Branch digging into David Spurlock’s facemask with what looks to be an attempt at the eye-rake. We didn’t agree with the Brandon Spikes’ suspension and we don’t agree with FSUncensored calling for Branch to be shelved. Take it away Willy Mac.

Ok, yes. It’s very obvious that Branch was being a dick and getting a little extra in after the play. That wasn’t eye gouging though. He may have tried, but it didn’t happen. He was definitely ripping at his neck, but that’s very common for a fumble scrum. Football is a mean, nasty game. And guess what? To play it at that level, you have to be a mean and nasty person to get by. Branch is a mean and nasty person. So is Spurlock. They wouldn’t be starting if they both weren’t this caliber of player.

Agree. In the words of Ron Cherry “giving him the business” is as much a part of football as the hand off or forward pass (or in Virginia Tech’s case the screen pass). If it’s called during the game, that’s fair, because it was obvious. Unless an eye popping out goes unnoticed let sleeping dogs lie.

We all have high definition televisions in our living rooms so why don’t the replay officials in the SEC? Perhaps they aren’t early adopters, or they’ve already budgeted all that $2.25 billion from ESPN…

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Cocktail Chronicle. By the end of the first quarter Saturday, outside the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party in Jacksonville, a drunken mass of humanity sprawls in baking parking lots and beneath cool shade trees, the largest collection of people in America who cannot walk in straight lines. By now, the ratio of men to women has shifted, perhaps for the only time all day, to something approaching equal numbers. Women wearing bikini tops and tight dresses warble on flip flops or bare feet, men, Florida fans mostly, have discarded their shirts and stand bare-chested in the bright sunshine propositioning women as they pass. Required reading continues here.

No one wants to play the Broncos, well except for Virginia Tech. And can you blame them? The Broncos are an unknown quantity, there’s no blueprint on how to beat them and a win against them by a BCS power is worthless and not worth the ante. “Yeah… well you should beat Boise.” “You guys lost to Boise!?”

Darren Evans is healing up faster than anyone could have anticipated and hasn’t been ruled out of the bowl game. We hope he’s feeling 100% by January and he’s able to travel with the team, but if he’s suited up for that game we will lose our fucking shit. It’s not worth pushing it only to re-injure yourself.

Continue Reading “Around the Interwebs” »

H/T: kayakyakr

The Big 12 North, taking it on the chin since 2003. Pictured above is the aftermath of the Texas’ 7-41 bludgeoning of Mizzou not pictured is Oklahoma’s thrashing of Kansas. Those both came a week after Mizzou’s 17-33 loss to Oklahoma State and Texas Tech’s armed robbery of Nebraska’s Blackshirts. Point being, the Big 12 North is pushing the ACC Atlantic for the unwanted recognition of worst division in college football.

Online Tours of the SEC are departing in five minutes. Get the fuck out, you’ve never spent an afternoon meandering drunkenly through The Grove or screaming your balls off in Death Valley on brisk autumn evening? Don’t be too embarrassed we’ve never been to either and Friends of the Program has us covered with their FREE virtual tours.

Pulse of the ACC. Hell, the most excited I’ve been about N.C. State this week was when Adrian Wilson gave a shout out to Philip Rivers during an interview on the Jim Rome show. That’s just depressing. The locals are sacrificing their prize pigs to Saint Dabo who better stuff himself fat on ham and bacon while he can because that unexpected loss is right around the corner. Dane and Winfield score a Pee-wee Herman in an adult theater on the CGB Giddy Scale. Brian and Jeff are adrift in a motionless ocean of what happened and are trying to figure out how to tell their wives they won’t at home in time for Foxtrot lessons. And, finally, Softball Face wants ‘Noles to forget the Ponder/Tebow comparisons.

His sweater vest won’t be dry cleaned, steamed, re-steamed nor will his American flag pin be within .01% error perpendicular to the center of a loosely knotted tie, because Evil Tressel is back. Bitches.

Your daily college football news guaranteed to be a day late and dollar short. If you’d like your blog’s link to appear here contact us.

We haven’t done this in a while, we think it’s like riding a bike, but tell us if we’re doing it wrong.

Jenn Brown is college football’s newest sexy blonde and FOTP has her covered from all angles.

Fried Pies–An older woman’s outer lady business. (Vadge)

The thrill of victory and agony of defeat. Purdonkulous victory by the Boilers over the Buckeyes. Man, it was great being down there, and there’s no better way to leave a field than through the field gate surrounded by thousands of smiling fellow Boilers–Boilerdowd of Boiled Sports. The warriors draped in scarlet and gray are questioning accountability, desire and competence. Georgia Tech’s win over the Hokies had Winfield and Dane partying over at President Peterson’s house where afterward they no doubt retired home, zipped themselves into adult sized onesies, and watched bootlegged anime. Good game guys. From here on out we’re siding with BCO, one game at a time, and no it’s not all Brian Stinespring’s fault. And it can always be worse. Continue Reading “Around the Interwebs” »

Make it rain. Saturday’s forecast calls for 1-2 inches of rain and agony. Inclement weather always makes for more interesting contests and in most cases turns a game into a defensive struggle, advantage Hokies. furrer4heisman has posted his spectacular game guide, What to Watch. Obviously we’re going to be keeping our eye on Bro Montana.

Orson + Paint explain why tOSU takes more shit than Oklahoma for their recent #fail. It’s a logical explanation that will make graphic artists everywhere cringe. However, we do think general disdain for the Sweater Vest is part of the formula. Oh wait, that is also explained by Orson’s model. Continue Reading “Around the Interwebs” »