An emotional Al Groh sums up how he feels about his tenure at Virginia after the Cavaliers’ sixth consecutive loss to the Hokies.

He’s the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
For he’s with you clear up to the end,
And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.

~Dale Wimbrow (via @worstfan, @edsbs)

Who’s soon to be out on his ass… Thanks to Furrer4Heisman, his drunk Internet skills, have surpassed, nay lapped, mine.

And now for something more fun, the best of #BeatUVa (in no particular order).

Continue Reading “The Guy in the Glass: A Poem by Dale Wimbrow Read by Al Groh and the Best of #BeatUVa” »

Iron Bowl (ALA 39-33-1) Alabama 23 @ Auburn 17 – In traditional with Black Friday the main course will be served before all the appetizers today. Auburn will be able to move the ball, but the Tide defense will prove too tough and Mark Ingram too consistent.

Continue Reading “Rivalry Week Divine Predictions. Open Threadage. Updated Jesus Cup Standings.” »

Ten wins, ten wins, ten wins I’m tired of hearing about ten fucking wins. In case you missed the memo, that’s the new goal set by the Frankinator since Georgia Tech wrapped up the ACC Coastal. Granted, that includes beating UVA, but we’re way too focused on the bigger picture.

I’d like some Hokie, any Hokie to come out and say, in the most politically correct way of course, just how hard we’re going to mash those silk panty wearing French majors less-than-mean-mugs into the turf on Saturday while in front of our home crowd at Lane Stadium North. I want my left over dark meat re-moistened with the delicious salty tears of Cavalier fans from all over the Commonwealth.

No bullshit, No Fucking Around, Just Annihilation

Staring Rick “Doc” Walker.

@edsbs [everydayshouldbesaturday.com]

Doc is awesome. On injury replay:”That’s broke! Um, that appears to be broken.”

Rick “Doc” Walker on Derrick Morgan: “He’s a natural born baller.” Want to hear Brent Musburger use same phrase, plz.

@ACCSports [accsports.com]

@cgb_blog I still like Doc calling a guy a unicorn.

@RockabyeArena [thearena.wordpress.com]

The Raycom color guy just said that Virginia’s Nate Collins “has been a unicorn.” Words fail.

Raycom sideline guy yaps about some player’s Rocket Propulsion class. Walker saying some player may actually be possessed. Perfect ACC game.

Large “BYE” in yellow letters just flashed on Raycom’s broadcast. Please deliver screengrab, Internet.

You ask and I deliver.

For some added context this was right after UVA punted, BYE BYE GAME!

This is our new Thursday night thread. We hope YOU our readers and friends in the blogosphere pop your heads in and engage in a little conversation.

This is a weekend of under cards, but let’s take a look at the inner beauty.

Florida State 28 @ North Carolina 26 – To date this is the least exciting Thursday night game of the season. FSU is fighting for bowl eligibility and North Carolina needs a big win at home to feed their fan base. The ‘Noles have proven they can put up points while North Carolina has struggled  to find their groove. FSU’s defense has been suspect, but is good enough to hold the Heels in check.

South Florida 13 @ Pittsburgh 20 – Don’t punch me in the balls Wanstache.

Georgia Tech 27 @ Virginia 17 – From here on out, for obvious reasons, I’ll have my eye on Georgia Tech. For those who turn a blind eye to ACC football, Virginia Tech needs our engineering brethren in the Dirty to lose so we control our own destiny in the ACC again. The Jackets haven’t won in Charlottesville since 1990, but unfortunately their offense will be too much for the Cavs to handle. They’ll grind out the clock and UVA will waste half of their precious possessions.

Boston College 27 @ Notre Dame 30 – Brian and Jeff took some time away from knitting new tights for dance class to take a look at the history between the Eagles and Irish. The Eagles are riding a six game winning streak into South Bend, but we’re picking the Irish because Boston College has been outscored 21-73 on the road this year. The winner will receive representation in the Jesus graphic above. Current Jesus Cup standings have been provided for your convenience.

Continue Reading “Divine Predictions. Thursday Night Open Thread with Jesus.” »

Brian and Jeff, proprietors of BC Interruption, who spend most of their time being quiet with their wives at Ann Taylor Loft, Bed Bath and Beyond and Starbucks have earned 30 minutes of funsies time. I’m ecstatic they’ve decided to spend it with us ACC assholes.

Now that most ACC teams’ non-conference schedules are winding down and we are starting league play, it’s time to take the vitals of the ACC’s play in non-conference action. Here is how the ACC fared against the rest of college football through 4 weeks (based on my back-of-the-envelope math):

Comment on your team’s (if applicable, sorry Miami) and the conference’s non-conference performance through 4 weeks. As a conference, what head-to-head record against another conference stands out to you most?

As a conference our performance has been horrible, abominable, putrid and pathetic. Losing games to I-AA teams is unACCeptable (Zing!). There would’ve been 3-5 more adjectives and perhaps a couple of “fucks” to describe the ACC vs outsiders had the Hokies not notched a quality win against Nebraska and had a passable showing against Alabama.

Continue Reading “ACC Roundtable 4: Non-Conference Report Card” »

UVA football has fallen off the horse, pun in-TEN-ded

UVA is leading the nation in snaps over the head and mascots falling off horses. Wahoowa!

Thoughts on the Hokies:

• Tyrod still looks average at best. He had two to three good throws the entire day. Although the touchdown pass when he scrambled to his left, then right, then set his feet and went back end zone was something out of NCAA 10.
• Razzle Dazzle are effing monsters who eat fear and arm tackles for breakfast. If they can run the ball half as well against Nebraska we’ll be alright.
• The last time we scored 50+ was against a then still on the horse Virginia on 11/19/05 (52).
• Stinespring still gets away from the plays that work too often.
• Those uniforms should officially become our new dudds. We don’t lose in them.

1. *Ding Dong* The pizza man is here, did your team deliver what you expected in their opener, why or why not?

*Ding Dong* shitty question here, who wrote that trash? Oh… That’s right I’m hosting this weeks ACC Roundtable so be prepared to read outstanding answers to four suck-ass questions. Brendan (From Old Virginia) really put the rest of you guys to shame with his response.

ROFLCOPTER

SOI SOI SOI SOI GOES THE ROFLCOPTER CARRYING AL GROH

Bird (From the Rumble Seat) wrote what every fan would when their team wins by twenty, he complains about the lack of a flyover. He also points out GT fumbled three times, which against a better opponent can/will cost them the game.

Just another thing we do better than GT.

Joe Ovies (850 & 620 The Blog) regales us with a “wish I was back in college story”.

NC State: An old college friend worked as manager at Gumby’s Pizza in Raleigh. One night, he received a complaint call from a customer. Was the pizza cold? Was it not what they had ordered? Nope. The pizza delivery guy was so high, that he passed out on their couch. He just walked in, gave the guys their pizza, and crashed. That was the Wolfpack last Thursday.

Gumby’s Pokey Sticks are excellent when inebriated. James C (yet another… N.C. State Sports Blog) agrees with Joe that the offense plummeted into Carter-Finley.

The offense that was supposed to light the world on fire barely crossed the 50.

What happened to Russel Wilson is my question, did all the preseason hype go to his head? Also Dana Bible is NC State’s Bryan Stinespring. shivers

My brother from another mother F4H (Gobbler Country) likens the Virginia Tech offense to anchovies.

Again, with the anchovies. Always with the anchovies. Every year I order supreme and every year you bring me friggin’ [fucking] anchovies. At least the defense brought meat lovers.

Bud Foster’s homemade pizza is a pepperoni log, smoked pork underbelly and ball of mozzarella cheese mashed together between his hands. Anyways, I would say the Hokie offense is like a deconstructed pizza, the finest ingredients not put together. AND THAT FALLS ON YOUR SHOULDERS OFFENSIVE COACHES. Willy Mac and Chilli (Block-C) got served a half-assed pizza, probably Lunchables brand.

I pretty much expected a half-assed performance by Clemson and that’s exactly what I got. After the game I waited, hoping to hear Dabo chew the shit out of the team, but instead it seemed that he gave them fairly positive marks. Which means he is aware what they’re capable of and they’re delivering it, or he’s a “praise in public, damn in private” sort of guy which is a good leadership quality according to those who know such things.

FSUncensored (Tomahawk Nation) got the defensive half of his pie exactly how he ordered it, no cheese.

Tomahawk Nation was the only site telling people that the defense could be at best, slightly above average, when most people were saying it should be good to very good, and only had a few youth issues.  The problems for the defense, unfortunately, run deep and can’t be fixed quickly.  Dumb and lazy recruiting, particularly in 2006 and 2007, by the previous coaching staff (some of which is still around), a silly reliance on seniority over skill (brought on by Bobby Bowden and acquiesced to by Mickey Andrews), and ridiculously bad coaching hires on the defensive side of the ball (Jody Allen, Chuck Amato), have left this defense with a very limited ceiling.  They have the chance to be FSU’s worst defense in nearly 30 years.

However, his other half was the works. Christian Ponder had an unexpected 130+ QB rating against Miami and looked way better than the ‘Noles expected. Brian and Jeff (BC Interruption) got their pizza as they called it in AND free breadsticks which they no doubt smothered in ranch dressing.

Even though it was Northeastern – a 2-10 CAA team – the win was just what Spaziani and this young Eagles team needed. For one, the offensive output was encouraging and not much expected. It all started with the Eagles first play from scrimmage, a Montel Harris’ 48 yard TD run. The running game was able to run right through an outmanned Northeastern defense. The quarterbacks also got some much needed experience, and both Shinskie and Tuggle were able to get their first collegiate TD passes under their belts.

Mike (Tar Heel Mania) also got what he ordered as his ‘Heels feasted on a I-AA school.

Given that UNC’s expectations are high and Citadel is considered very very not good even by FCS standards, we about exactly met expectations. We didn’t disappoint and we didn’t wow.

ACC bloggers B. Rink (On the B. Rink) and Jim Young (ACCSports.com) were both pretty much disguested with what they got.

If my team is the ACC, that would be a definite and thunderous “no!”. The two losses to FCS squads, 0-2 vs. SEC, and the Wake loss at home were disappointing to say the least. It’s early, but a team like NC State that looked pretty good on paper–absolutely bombed at home versus a mediocre SEC team.

My delivery guy just gave me a sauceless pie with tofu and bean curd when I specifically asked for the meat lovers special.

Continue Reading “ACC Roundtable Roundup: FAIL, Favorites and Eff Em Over” »

SI.com’s ACC prediction is out.

In other news SI picked VT to go 11-1, win the ACC, beat Alabama and Nebraska and watch helplessly as Florida plays Texas for the crystal.