Because on the scale of things to talk about during the offseason, this is a 6 out-of-a 10.

Pictured below is the helmet UNC players will wear when they play LSU in the Chick-fil-A kickoff down in the A-T-L.

Initial impression, as a hater of all things powder blue, and not because of UNC (the only thing I own is a beer stained t-shirt commemorating six magnificent hours at Sloppy Joe’s Bar) the helmet looks tight. The Oakley visor screams we got money and style. The gunmetal bronze finish looks sleek and booms we’re not fucking around.

If it disgusts you: 1) be thankful they didn’t go Oregon on us 2) it’s supposedly only a onetime deal.

Because a Tar Heel needs to look right when starring down the eye of the Tiger.

via @dpertell

Virginia Tech @ Maryland – If you’re looking for a preview of the game you won’t find that here. If those are things of interest to you then check out Gobbler Country’s What to Watch or Testudo Times. The only thing that matters in this fashion show game is that the Hokies win so I win a blogger bet with our friends at Girls Don’t Know Sports. The winner of said bet gets to defile the other’s banner atop their blog which will remain in place for a week. Please don’t fuck this up Hokies.

Continue Reading “Divine Predictions. Updated Jesus Cup Standings.” »

Tommy Bowden dropped by BusterSports.com’s live blog of UNC-FSU. If you haven’t checked out Buster you should. They couple former college coaches with some of the best writers the blogosphere has to offer. Anyways, after taking a barrage of “Bobby” questions Tommy took on my request.

Me: Tommy lighten up the mood and regale us with your best (funniest) recruiting story.

Tommy Bowden: You know, CGB, I had one when I was at Duke and was recruiting a lineman out of Jacksonville that FSU was recruiting and I called the house and his mother answered the phone and I asked for John and I hear her yelling and he says ask who it is and she says “it’s coach bowden!” And he yells back, “Is it the real one or the other one?” So that was a little humorous I thought. I remember that one well…

People you can appreciate the most, the ones who don’t take themselves too seriously. Well played Tommy and +1.

This is our new Thursday night thread. We hope YOU our readers and friends in the blogosphere pop your heads in and engage in a little conversation.

This is a weekend of under cards, but let’s take a look at the inner beauty.

Florida State 28 @ North Carolina 26 – To date this is the least exciting Thursday night game of the season. FSU is fighting for bowl eligibility and North Carolina needs a big win at home to feed their fan base. The ‘Noles have proven they can put up points while North Carolina has struggled  to find their groove. FSU’s defense has been suspect, but is good enough to hold the Heels in check.

South Florida 13 @ Pittsburgh 20 – Don’t punch me in the balls Wanstache.

Georgia Tech 27 @ Virginia 17 – From here on out, for obvious reasons, I’ll have my eye on Georgia Tech. For those who turn a blind eye to ACC football, Virginia Tech needs our engineering brethren in the Dirty to lose so we control our own destiny in the ACC again. The Jackets haven’t won in Charlottesville since 1990, but unfortunately their offense will be too much for the Cavs to handle. They’ll grind out the clock and UVA will waste half of their precious possessions.

Boston College 27 @ Notre Dame 30 – Brian and Jeff took some time away from knitting new tights for dance class to take a look at the history between the Eagles and Irish. The Eagles are riding a six game winning streak into South Bend, but we’re picking the Irish because Boston College has been outscored 21-73 on the road this year. The winner will receive representation in the Jesus graphic above. Current Jesus Cup standings have been provided for your convenience.

Continue Reading “Divine Predictions. Thursday Night Open Thread with Jesus.” »

Brian and Jeff, proprietors of BC Interruption, who spend most of their time being quiet with their wives at Ann Taylor Loft, Bed Bath and Beyond and Starbucks have earned 30 minutes of funsies time. I’m ecstatic they’ve decided to spend it with us ACC assholes.

Now that most ACC teams’ non-conference schedules are winding down and we are starting league play, it’s time to take the vitals of the ACC’s play in non-conference action. Here is how the ACC fared against the rest of college football through 4 weeks (based on my back-of-the-envelope math):

Comment on your team’s (if applicable, sorry Miami) and the conference’s non-conference performance through 4 weeks. As a conference, what head-to-head record against another conference stands out to you most?

As a conference our performance has been horrible, abominable, putrid and pathetic. Losing games to I-AA teams is unACCeptable (Zing!). There would’ve been 3-5 more adjectives and perhaps a couple of “fucks” to describe the ACC vs outsiders had the Hokies not notched a quality win against Nebraska and had a passable showing against Alabama.

Continue Reading “ACC Roundtable 4: Non-Conference Report Card” »

1. *Ding Dong* The pizza man is here, did your team deliver what you expected in their opener, why or why not?

*Ding Dong* shitty question here, who wrote that trash? Oh… That’s right I’m hosting this weeks ACC Roundtable so be prepared to read outstanding answers to four suck-ass questions. Brendan (From Old Virginia) really put the rest of you guys to shame with his response.

ROFLCOPTER

SOI SOI SOI SOI GOES THE ROFLCOPTER CARRYING AL GROH

Bird (From the Rumble Seat) wrote what every fan would when their team wins by twenty, he complains about the lack of a flyover. He also points out GT fumbled three times, which against a better opponent can/will cost them the game.

Just another thing we do better than GT.

Joe Ovies (850 & 620 The Blog) regales us with a “wish I was back in college story”.

NC State: An old college friend worked as manager at Gumby’s Pizza in Raleigh. One night, he received a complaint call from a customer. Was the pizza cold? Was it not what they had ordered? Nope. The pizza delivery guy was so high, that he passed out on their couch. He just walked in, gave the guys their pizza, and crashed. That was the Wolfpack last Thursday.

Gumby’s Pokey Sticks are excellent when inebriated. James C (yet another… N.C. State Sports Blog) agrees with Joe that the offense plummeted into Carter-Finley.

The offense that was supposed to light the world on fire barely crossed the 50.

What happened to Russel Wilson is my question, did all the preseason hype go to his head? Also Dana Bible is NC State’s Bryan Stinespring. shivers

My brother from another mother F4H (Gobbler Country) likens the Virginia Tech offense to anchovies.

Again, with the anchovies. Always with the anchovies. Every year I order supreme and every year you bring me friggin’ [fucking] anchovies. At least the defense brought meat lovers.

Bud Foster’s homemade pizza is a pepperoni log, smoked pork underbelly and ball of mozzarella cheese mashed together between his hands. Anyways, I would say the Hokie offense is like a deconstructed pizza, the finest ingredients not put together. AND THAT FALLS ON YOUR SHOULDERS OFFENSIVE COACHES. Willy Mac and Chilli (Block-C) got served a half-assed pizza, probably Lunchables brand.

I pretty much expected a half-assed performance by Clemson and that’s exactly what I got. After the game I waited, hoping to hear Dabo chew the shit out of the team, but instead it seemed that he gave them fairly positive marks. Which means he is aware what they’re capable of and they’re delivering it, or he’s a “praise in public, damn in private” sort of guy which is a good leadership quality according to those who know such things.

FSUncensored (Tomahawk Nation) got the defensive half of his pie exactly how he ordered it, no cheese.

Tomahawk Nation was the only site telling people that the defense could be at best, slightly above average, when most people were saying it should be good to very good, and only had a few youth issues.  The problems for the defense, unfortunately, run deep and can’t be fixed quickly.  Dumb and lazy recruiting, particularly in 2006 and 2007, by the previous coaching staff (some of which is still around), a silly reliance on seniority over skill (brought on by Bobby Bowden and acquiesced to by Mickey Andrews), and ridiculously bad coaching hires on the defensive side of the ball (Jody Allen, Chuck Amato), have left this defense with a very limited ceiling.  They have the chance to be FSU’s worst defense in nearly 30 years.

However, his other half was the works. Christian Ponder had an unexpected 130+ QB rating against Miami and looked way better than the ‘Noles expected. Brian and Jeff (BC Interruption) got their pizza as they called it in AND free breadsticks which they no doubt smothered in ranch dressing.

Even though it was Northeastern – a 2-10 CAA team – the win was just what Spaziani and this young Eagles team needed. For one, the offensive output was encouraging and not much expected. It all started with the Eagles first play from scrimmage, a Montel Harris’ 48 yard TD run. The running game was able to run right through an outmanned Northeastern defense. The quarterbacks also got some much needed experience, and both Shinskie and Tuggle were able to get their first collegiate TD passes under their belts.

Mike (Tar Heel Mania) also got what he ordered as his ‘Heels feasted on a I-AA school.

Given that UNC’s expectations are high and Citadel is considered very very not good even by FCS standards, we about exactly met expectations. We didn’t disappoint and we didn’t wow.

ACC bloggers B. Rink (On the B. Rink) and Jim Young (ACCSports.com) were both pretty much disguested with what they got.

If my team is the ACC, that would be a definite and thunderous “no!”. The two losses to FCS squads, 0-2 vs. SEC, and the Wake loss at home were disappointing to say the least. It’s early, but a team like NC State that looked pretty good on paper–absolutely bombed at home versus a mediocre SEC team.

My delivery guy just gave me a sauceless pie with tofu and bean curd when I specifically asked for the meat lovers special.

Continue Reading “ACC Roundtable Roundup: FAIL, Favorites and Eff Em Over” »

Expectations, our one weakness. ACC media members have picked Virginia Tech over Florida State in the championship game and Jonathan Dwyer as the player of the year.

Homeless because of the BCS. OK it was by choice, but regardless you have to admire Brandon Kennedy’s devotion for a playoff while shaking your head at the insanity of it.

He has drafted a paper, “The Kennedy Proposal,” that outlines a new system. He sapped nearly all of his $450 bank account to fly from his home in Washington state to Washington, D.C., and has taken up residence underneath bridges and trees in Georgetown, living homeless for the past 13 weeks as he lobbies for change. He has sent, by his estimate, more than 15,000 e-mails and letters to college athletic conference commissioners, athletic directors and NCAA officials over the past year.

Gee-ZUS! Brandon you’ve bested us and have made our posts on the subject look like 13-year-old girl hormone fueled bitchings. Check out all of his blog posts about the BCS on Bleacher Report (ick). Continue Reading “Around the Interwebs” »

Three of Maryland’s classiest trashiest coeds from Saturday’s UNC v Maryland ACC slug fest.

UNC is coming off a 4-8 season where their marquee win was against the 1-11 Duke intramural squad.  However, the Tar Heels are the trendy pick to win ACC Coastal division because of some very close losses.  As a Hokie I’ve become caught up in figuring out whether or not they are the real deal. The three reasons why I think UNC will go from 4-8 to 8-4 (or better) are: a lot of returning talent, a very favorable schedule and top notch coaching.

Quarterback T.J. Yates had an impressive start to his 2007 season throwing 9 touchdowns and only 3 interceptions but fizzled out finishing the season with 14 tds and 18 picks.  Yates is going to have to cut that shit and be productive for the entire season for the Heels to go bowling and even come close to sniffing the asshole of the ACC Championship Game.  He gets to throw to Hakeem Nicks who is straight nasty and could put up over 1,000 yards.  The running game was suspect last year and sophomore Greg Little needs to rush for 1,000+ to keep the offense moving in the right direction.

The Heels’ schedule sets up extremely well and here is how I see their season unfolding.

• McNeese State – Blowout W
• at Rutgers – I don’t think Butch Davis will be able to get past his former assistant coach.
• Virginia Tech – UNC might be a favorite and this game will be extremely telling of how the UNC season will go.  A win has them on the fast track to the ACC Coastal division title, a close loss won’t be too devistating but a blowout will be devistating.  I think they lose a really close one.
• at Miami – Miami has too much talent
• Connecticut – This will be another extremely close game but in the end UNC will pull it out.
• Notre Dame – I really hate picking ND to win
• at Virginia – W
• Boston College – No Matt Ryan means no W for BC
• Georgia Tech – GT will be competitive for a while, but this is the year for everyone to beat down on the Wreck.
• at Maryland – A solid road win
• NC State – I really miss Chuck Amato and his sexy tan, permed hair and suave sunglasses. W
• at Duke – It will be close, but UNC wins.

We all know Butch Davis is a great head coach and recruiter.  One thing he is not is a miracle worker.  UNC is still 1-2 years away from being a legitimate ACC contender.  Going 8-4 this year with a chance to play in a bowl will definitely set the Heels up for break-out 2009.  However, maybe I am wrong and Davis pulls out the W against VT and cruises to the ACC Championship Game…