via Finkahedron from greatest board around The Something Awful Forums.

Thanks Tom O’Brien for feeding Mike to the wolves (no pun intended).

H/T: kayakyakr

The Big 12 North, taking it on the chin since 2003. Pictured above is the aftermath of the Texas’ 7-41 bludgeoning of Mizzou not pictured is Oklahoma’s thrashing of Kansas. Those both came a week after Mizzou’s 17-33 loss to Oklahoma State and Texas Tech’s armed robbery of Nebraska’s Blackshirts. Point being, the Big 12 North is pushing the ACC Atlantic for the unwanted recognition of worst division in college football.

Online Tours of the SEC are departing in five minutes. Get the fuck out, you’ve never spent an afternoon meandering drunkenly through The Grove or screaming your balls off in Death Valley on brisk autumn evening? Don’t be too embarrassed we’ve never been to either and Friends of the Program has us covered with their FREE virtual tours.

Pulse of the ACC. Hell, the most excited I’ve been about N.C. State this week was when Adrian Wilson gave a shout out to Philip Rivers during an interview on the Jim Rome show. That’s just depressing. The locals are sacrificing their prize pigs to Saint Dabo who better stuff himself fat on ham and bacon while he can because that unexpected loss is right around the corner. Dane and Winfield score a Pee-wee Herman in an adult theater on the CGB Giddy Scale. Brian and Jeff are adrift in a motionless ocean of what happened and are trying to figure out how to tell their wives they won’t at home in time for Foxtrot lessons. And, finally, Softball Face wants ‘Noles to forget the Ponder/Tebow comparisons.

His sweater vest won’t be dry cleaned, steamed, re-steamed nor will his American flag pin be within .01% error perpendicular to the center of a loosely knotted tie, because Evil Tressel is back. Bitches.

Your daily college football news guaranteed to be a day late and dollar short. If you’d like your blog’s link to appear here contact us.

We haven’t done this in a while, we think it’s like riding a bike, but tell us if we’re doing it wrong.

Jenn Brown is college football’s newest sexy blonde and FOTP has her covered from all angles.

Fried Pies–An older woman’s outer lady business. (Vadge)

The thrill of victory and agony of defeat. Purdonkulous victory by the Boilers over the Buckeyes. Man, it was great being down there, and there’s no better way to leave a field than through the field gate surrounded by thousands of smiling fellow Boilers–Boilerdowd of Boiled Sports. The warriors draped in scarlet and gray are questioning accountability, desire and competence. Georgia Tech’s win over the Hokies had Winfield and Dane partying over at President Peterson’s house where afterward they no doubt retired home, zipped themselves into adult sized onesies, and watched bootlegged anime. Good game guys. From here on out we’re siding with BCO, one game at a time, and no it’s not all Brian Stinespring’s fault. And it can always be worse. Continue Reading “Around the Interwebs” »

Brian and Jeff, proprietors of BC Interruption, who spend most of their time being quiet with their wives at Ann Taylor Loft, Bed Bath and Beyond and Starbucks have earned 30 minutes of funsies time. I’m ecstatic they’ve decided to spend it with us ACC assholes.

Now that most ACC teams’ non-conference schedules are winding down and we are starting league play, it’s time to take the vitals of the ACC’s play in non-conference action. Here is how the ACC fared against the rest of college football through 4 weeks (based on my back-of-the-envelope math):

Comment on your team’s (if applicable, sorry Miami) and the conference’s non-conference performance through 4 weeks. As a conference, what head-to-head record against another conference stands out to you most?

As a conference our performance has been horrible, abominable, putrid and pathetic. Losing games to I-AA teams is unACCeptable (Zing!). There would’ve been 3-5 more adjectives and perhaps a couple of “fucks” to describe the ACC vs outsiders had the Hokies not notched a quality win against Nebraska and had a passable showing against Alabama.

Continue Reading “ACC Roundtable 4: Non-Conference Report Card” »

Make it rain. Saturday’s forecast calls for 1-2 inches of rain and agony. Inclement weather always makes for more interesting contests and in most cases turns a game into a defensive struggle, advantage Hokies. furrer4heisman has posted his spectacular game guide, What to Watch. Obviously we’re going to be keeping our eye on Bro Montana.

Orson + Paint explain why tOSU takes more shit than Oklahoma for their recent #fail. It’s a logical explanation that will make graphic artists everywhere cringe. However, we do think general disdain for the Sweater Vest is part of the formula. Oh wait, that is also explained by Orson’s model. Continue Reading “Around the Interwebs” »

1. *Ding Dong* The pizza man is here, did your team deliver what you expected in their opener, why or why not?

*Ding Dong* shitty question here, who wrote that trash? Oh… That’s right I’m hosting this weeks ACC Roundtable so be prepared to read outstanding answers to four suck-ass questions. Brendan (From Old Virginia) really put the rest of you guys to shame with his response.

ROFLCOPTER

SOI SOI SOI SOI GOES THE ROFLCOPTER CARRYING AL GROH

Bird (From the Rumble Seat) wrote what every fan would when their team wins by twenty, he complains about the lack of a flyover. He also points out GT fumbled three times, which against a better opponent can/will cost them the game.

Just another thing we do better than GT.

Joe Ovies (850 & 620 The Blog) regales us with a “wish I was back in college story”.

NC State: An old college friend worked as manager at Gumby’s Pizza in Raleigh. One night, he received a complaint call from a customer. Was the pizza cold? Was it not what they had ordered? Nope. The pizza delivery guy was so high, that he passed out on their couch. He just walked in, gave the guys their pizza, and crashed. That was the Wolfpack last Thursday.

Gumby’s Pokey Sticks are excellent when inebriated. James C (yet another… N.C. State Sports Blog) agrees with Joe that the offense plummeted into Carter-Finley.

The offense that was supposed to light the world on fire barely crossed the 50.

What happened to Russel Wilson is my question, did all the preseason hype go to his head? Also Dana Bible is NC State’s Bryan Stinespring. shivers

My brother from another mother F4H (Gobbler Country) likens the Virginia Tech offense to anchovies.

Again, with the anchovies. Always with the anchovies. Every year I order supreme and every year you bring me friggin’ [fucking] anchovies. At least the defense brought meat lovers.

Bud Foster’s homemade pizza is a pepperoni log, smoked pork underbelly and ball of mozzarella cheese mashed together between his hands. Anyways, I would say the Hokie offense is like a deconstructed pizza, the finest ingredients not put together. AND THAT FALLS ON YOUR SHOULDERS OFFENSIVE COACHES. Willy Mac and Chilli (Block-C) got served a half-assed pizza, probably Lunchables brand.

I pretty much expected a half-assed performance by Clemson and that’s exactly what I got. After the game I waited, hoping to hear Dabo chew the shit out of the team, but instead it seemed that he gave them fairly positive marks. Which means he is aware what they’re capable of and they’re delivering it, or he’s a “praise in public, damn in private” sort of guy which is a good leadership quality according to those who know such things.

FSUncensored (Tomahawk Nation) got the defensive half of his pie exactly how he ordered it, no cheese.

Tomahawk Nation was the only site telling people that the defense could be at best, slightly above average, when most people were saying it should be good to very good, and only had a few youth issues.  The problems for the defense, unfortunately, run deep and can’t be fixed quickly.  Dumb and lazy recruiting, particularly in 2006 and 2007, by the previous coaching staff (some of which is still around), a silly reliance on seniority over skill (brought on by Bobby Bowden and acquiesced to by Mickey Andrews), and ridiculously bad coaching hires on the defensive side of the ball (Jody Allen, Chuck Amato), have left this defense with a very limited ceiling.  They have the chance to be FSU’s worst defense in nearly 30 years.

However, his other half was the works. Christian Ponder had an unexpected 130+ QB rating against Miami and looked way better than the ‘Noles expected. Brian and Jeff (BC Interruption) got their pizza as they called it in AND free breadsticks which they no doubt smothered in ranch dressing.

Even though it was Northeastern – a 2-10 CAA team – the win was just what Spaziani and this young Eagles team needed. For one, the offensive output was encouraging and not much expected. It all started with the Eagles first play from scrimmage, a Montel Harris’ 48 yard TD run. The running game was able to run right through an outmanned Northeastern defense. The quarterbacks also got some much needed experience, and both Shinskie and Tuggle were able to get their first collegiate TD passes under their belts.

Mike (Tar Heel Mania) also got what he ordered as his ‘Heels feasted on a I-AA school.

Given that UNC’s expectations are high and Citadel is considered very very not good even by FCS standards, we about exactly met expectations. We didn’t disappoint and we didn’t wow.

ACC bloggers B. Rink (On the B. Rink) and Jim Young (ACCSports.com) were both pretty much disguested with what they got.

If my team is the ACC, that would be a definite and thunderous “no!”. The two losses to FCS squads, 0-2 vs. SEC, and the Wake loss at home were disappointing to say the least. It’s early, but a team like NC State that looked pretty good on paper–absolutely bombed at home versus a mediocre SEC team.

My delivery guy just gave me a sauceless pie with tofu and bean curd when I specifically asked for the meat lovers special.

Continue Reading “ACC Roundtable Roundup: FAIL, Favorites and Eff Em Over” »