Virginia Tech @ Maryland – If you’re looking for a preview of the game you won’t find that here. If those are things of interest to you then check out Gobbler Country’s What to Watch or Testudo Times. The only thing that matters in this fashion show game is that the Hokies win so I win a blogger bet with our friends at Girls Don’t Know Sports. The winner of said bet gets to defile the other’s banner atop their blog which will remain in place for a week. Please don’t fuck this up Hokies.

Continue Reading “Divine Predictions. Updated Jesus Cup Standings.” »

Brian and Jeff, proprietors of BC Interruption, who spend most of their time being quiet with their wives at Ann Taylor Loft, Bed Bath and Beyond and Starbucks have earned 30 minutes of funsies time. I’m ecstatic they’ve decided to spend it with us ACC assholes.

Now that most ACC teams’ non-conference schedules are winding down and we are starting league play, it’s time to take the vitals of the ACC’s play in non-conference action. Here is how the ACC fared against the rest of college football through 4 weeks (based on my back-of-the-envelope math):

Comment on your team’s (if applicable, sorry Miami) and the conference’s non-conference performance through 4 weeks. As a conference, what head-to-head record against another conference stands out to you most?

As a conference our performance has been horrible, abominable, putrid and pathetic. Losing games to I-AA teams is unACCeptable (Zing!). There would’ve been 3-5 more adjectives and perhaps a couple of “fucks” to describe the ACC vs outsiders had the Hokies not notched a quality win against Nebraska and had a passable showing against Alabama.

Continue Reading “ACC Roundtable 4: Non-Conference Report Card” »

1. *Ding Dong* The pizza man is here, did your team deliver what you expected in their opener, why or why not?

*Ding Dong* shitty question here, who wrote that trash? Oh… That’s right I’m hosting this weeks ACC Roundtable so be prepared to read outstanding answers to four suck-ass questions. Brendan (From Old Virginia) really put the rest of you guys to shame with his response.

ROFLCOPTER

SOI SOI SOI SOI GOES THE ROFLCOPTER CARRYING AL GROH

Bird (From the Rumble Seat) wrote what every fan would when their team wins by twenty, he complains about the lack of a flyover. He also points out GT fumbled three times, which against a better opponent can/will cost them the game.

Just another thing we do better than GT.

Joe Ovies (850 & 620 The Blog) regales us with a “wish I was back in college story”.

NC State: An old college friend worked as manager at Gumby’s Pizza in Raleigh. One night, he received a complaint call from a customer. Was the pizza cold? Was it not what they had ordered? Nope. The pizza delivery guy was so high, that he passed out on their couch. He just walked in, gave the guys their pizza, and crashed. That was the Wolfpack last Thursday.

Gumby’s Pokey Sticks are excellent when inebriated. James C (yet another… N.C. State Sports Blog) agrees with Joe that the offense plummeted into Carter-Finley.

The offense that was supposed to light the world on fire barely crossed the 50.

What happened to Russel Wilson is my question, did all the preseason hype go to his head? Also Dana Bible is NC State’s Bryan Stinespring. shivers

My brother from another mother F4H (Gobbler Country) likens the Virginia Tech offense to anchovies.

Again, with the anchovies. Always with the anchovies. Every year I order supreme and every year you bring me friggin’ [fucking] anchovies. At least the defense brought meat lovers.

Bud Foster’s homemade pizza is a pepperoni log, smoked pork underbelly and ball of mozzarella cheese mashed together between his hands. Anyways, I would say the Hokie offense is like a deconstructed pizza, the finest ingredients not put together. AND THAT FALLS ON YOUR SHOULDERS OFFENSIVE COACHES. Willy Mac and Chilli (Block-C) got served a half-assed pizza, probably Lunchables brand.

I pretty much expected a half-assed performance by Clemson and that’s exactly what I got. After the game I waited, hoping to hear Dabo chew the shit out of the team, but instead it seemed that he gave them fairly positive marks. Which means he is aware what they’re capable of and they’re delivering it, or he’s a “praise in public, damn in private” sort of guy which is a good leadership quality according to those who know such things.

FSUncensored (Tomahawk Nation) got the defensive half of his pie exactly how he ordered it, no cheese.

Tomahawk Nation was the only site telling people that the defense could be at best, slightly above average, when most people were saying it should be good to very good, and only had a few youth issues.  The problems for the defense, unfortunately, run deep and can’t be fixed quickly.  Dumb and lazy recruiting, particularly in 2006 and 2007, by the previous coaching staff (some of which is still around), a silly reliance on seniority over skill (brought on by Bobby Bowden and acquiesced to by Mickey Andrews), and ridiculously bad coaching hires on the defensive side of the ball (Jody Allen, Chuck Amato), have left this defense with a very limited ceiling.  They have the chance to be FSU’s worst defense in nearly 30 years.

However, his other half was the works. Christian Ponder had an unexpected 130+ QB rating against Miami and looked way better than the ‘Noles expected. Brian and Jeff (BC Interruption) got their pizza as they called it in AND free breadsticks which they no doubt smothered in ranch dressing.

Even though it was Northeastern – a 2-10 CAA team – the win was just what Spaziani and this young Eagles team needed. For one, the offensive output was encouraging and not much expected. It all started with the Eagles first play from scrimmage, a Montel Harris’ 48 yard TD run. The running game was able to run right through an outmanned Northeastern defense. The quarterbacks also got some much needed experience, and both Shinskie and Tuggle were able to get their first collegiate TD passes under their belts.

Mike (Tar Heel Mania) also got what he ordered as his ‘Heels feasted on a I-AA school.

Given that UNC’s expectations are high and Citadel is considered very very not good even by FCS standards, we about exactly met expectations. We didn’t disappoint and we didn’t wow.

ACC bloggers B. Rink (On the B. Rink) and Jim Young (ACCSports.com) were both pretty much disguested with what they got.

If my team is the ACC, that would be a definite and thunderous “no!”. The two losses to FCS squads, 0-2 vs. SEC, and the Wake loss at home were disappointing to say the least. It’s early, but a team like NC State that looked pretty good on paper–absolutely bombed at home versus a mediocre SEC team.

My delivery guy just gave me a sauceless pie with tofu and bean curd when I specifically asked for the meat lovers special.

Continue Reading “ACC Roundtable Roundup: FAIL, Favorites and Eff Em Over” »

Don’t get us wrong the Maryland West Virginia series starting in 2010 will be good football. But it’s the Hokies not the Terps the Mountaineers should be playing every year. VT and WVU’s rivalry is built upon hate, upsets and epic games not cheesy nicknames like the “side yard brawl.”

After the suspension and subsequent transfer announcement of / from Dominique Davis Boston College received a commitment from 25-year-old quarterback Dave Shinskie.

Shinskie, who graduated from Mount Carmel in 2003, has been away from football for a long time. The 6-foot-4, 215-pounder was drafted as a pitcher in the fourth round by the Minnesota Twins in 2003 and spent six-plus years in the minors, compiling a 24-30 record with a 4.61 ERA while never rising above Double A. He was released this year by the Toronto Blue Jays organization while playing for the New Hampshire Fisher Cats.

What a great move by the Eagles, who much like Syracuse and Greg Paulus have nothing to lose and everything to gain. But better for BC is Shinkskie has four years of eligibility.

The Army Navy Game is going to tour some high profile NFL stadiums between 2010 – 2017. That game makes me feel more American than any cheeseburger ever could. Continue Reading “Around the Interwebs” »

Every Monday Heather Dinich hosts an ACC chat and answers questions at ESPN.com.  This is her shitting on the University of Maryland

Jonathan (Rockville, MD): Will Maryland ever realistically compete for the league title? I mean, will the Terps ever actually become consistent? 

 Heather Dinich: Well, they DID compete for the league title this season. They just blew it. Consistency starts up top, and the staff has played musical chairs almost every year. 

Lewis: (Washington, DC): Heather, you’re from the Washington DC area, and covered Maryland, why has the press given him a free pass? They haven’t talked about Friedgen’s recruiting and inconsistency. 

 Heather Dinich: Ha … right. Ask Ralph and rec. coord. Dave Sollazzo how they felt about my Maryland recruiting stories. My question to those calling for Friedgen’s job is this … who could Debbie Yow realistically hire to do better given what he has to work with? 

BoiseTerp: What do you mean, “given what the Fridge has to work with? The Maryland area has tons of talent to recruit. 

 Heather Dinich: Sure it does, but when it comes to getting them, it can’t beat Penn State or Virginia Tech’s atmosphere on game day or their facilities. 

Elton: (College Park, MD): Heather: I’ll give you a few good choices who Debbie Yow could hire and would do a better job in recruiting: Turner Gill and Brian Kelly. I’m sure you agree, right? 

 Heather Dinich: Sure, they are two very good coaches who did outstanding jobs this season, but my point is they all would have the same things Ralph has to recruit … If you’re 17 and being recruited by Penn State, Virginia Tech and Maryland, would you rather play for teams that are going to the OB and Rose Bowl and have at LEAST 80,000 fans at their games, or play for a team coming off the Humanitarian Bowl appearance that plays in Byrd Stadium? 

http://proxy.espn.go.com/chat/chatESPN?event_id=24248

Three of Maryland’s classiest trashiest coeds from Saturday’s UNC v Maryland ACC slug fest.

32 carries, 253 yards, 7.9 yards per carry and one huge touchdown by Darren Evans. By comparison as a team Maryland has -12 rushing yards, that’s negative twelve and 228 total yards. For your viewing pleasure here he is just plowing over Terrell Skinner.

This is the game we needed to get back on track. A hobbled Glennon played well. 275 pound TE \ RB \ QB Greg Boooonnnneeeee dominated wherever he lined up, we played Hokie defense and most importantly we didn’t collapse.  There are three games left in our season, let’s win them all and get back to Tampa.

I will be there! I’ve been to the campus a number of times but never attended a game. I fully expect it to be the most electric atmosphere I have ever seen at any sports event. I will probably look around, and say to myself, “I wish Byrd Stadium felt like this.”

Let’s go Terps!

If I were a Maryland fan I’de smack the shit out of you for championing the supremacy of another rival program.  Then I’de commit sepuku with Fridge’s FUPA.  However, I am a Hokie so I will graciously watch your will’s break Thursday night.

http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/sports/college/maryland_terps/blog/2008/11/predictions_anyone_3.html

The latest and greatest from MEHOKIE. If you aren’t fired up by now maroon and orange doesn’t run through your veins!  32 hours and counting. Woo!