Brian and Jeff, proprietors of BC Interruption, who spend most of their time being quiet with their wives at Ann Taylor Loft, Bed Bath and Beyond and Starbucks have earned 30 minutes of funsies time. I’m ecstatic they’ve decided to spend it with us ACC assholes.

Now that most ACC teams’ non-conference schedules are winding down and we are starting league play, it’s time to take the vitals of the ACC’s play in non-conference action. Here is how the ACC fared against the rest of college football through 4 weeks (based on my back-of-the-envelope math):

Comment on your team’s (if applicable, sorry Miami) and the conference’s non-conference performance through 4 weeks. As a conference, what head-to-head record against another conference stands out to you most?

As a conference our performance has been horrible, abominable, putrid and pathetic. Losing games to I-AA teams is unACCeptable (Zing!). There would’ve been 3-5 more adjectives and perhaps a couple of “fucks” to describe the ACC vs outsiders had the Hokies not notched a quality win against Nebraska and had a passable showing against Alabama.

Continue Reading “ACC Roundtable 4: Non-Conference Report Card” »

1. *Ding Dong* The pizza man is here, did your team deliver what you expected in their opener, why or why not?

*Ding Dong* shitty question here, who wrote that trash? Oh… That’s right I’m hosting this weeks ACC Roundtable so be prepared to read outstanding answers to four suck-ass questions. Brendan (From Old Virginia) really put the rest of you guys to shame with his response.

ROFLCOPTER

SOI SOI SOI SOI GOES THE ROFLCOPTER CARRYING AL GROH

Bird (From the Rumble Seat) wrote what every fan would when their team wins by twenty, he complains about the lack of a flyover. He also points out GT fumbled three times, which against a better opponent can/will cost them the game.

Just another thing we do better than GT.

Joe Ovies (850 & 620 The Blog) regales us with a “wish I was back in college story”.

NC State: An old college friend worked as manager at Gumby’s Pizza in Raleigh. One night, he received a complaint call from a customer. Was the pizza cold? Was it not what they had ordered? Nope. The pizza delivery guy was so high, that he passed out on their couch. He just walked in, gave the guys their pizza, and crashed. That was the Wolfpack last Thursday.

Gumby’s Pokey Sticks are excellent when inebriated. James C (yet another… N.C. State Sports Blog) agrees with Joe that the offense plummeted into Carter-Finley.

The offense that was supposed to light the world on fire barely crossed the 50.

What happened to Russel Wilson is my question, did all the preseason hype go to his head? Also Dana Bible is NC State’s Bryan Stinespring. shivers

My brother from another mother F4H (Gobbler Country) likens the Virginia Tech offense to anchovies.

Again, with the anchovies. Always with the anchovies. Every year I order supreme and every year you bring me friggin’ [fucking] anchovies. At least the defense brought meat lovers.

Bud Foster’s homemade pizza is a pepperoni log, smoked pork underbelly and ball of mozzarella cheese mashed together between his hands. Anyways, I would say the Hokie offense is like a deconstructed pizza, the finest ingredients not put together. AND THAT FALLS ON YOUR SHOULDERS OFFENSIVE COACHES. Willy Mac and Chilli (Block-C) got served a half-assed pizza, probably Lunchables brand.

I pretty much expected a half-assed performance by Clemson and that’s exactly what I got. After the game I waited, hoping to hear Dabo chew the shit out of the team, but instead it seemed that he gave them fairly positive marks. Which means he is aware what they’re capable of and they’re delivering it, or he’s a “praise in public, damn in private” sort of guy which is a good leadership quality according to those who know such things.

FSUncensored (Tomahawk Nation) got the defensive half of his pie exactly how he ordered it, no cheese.

Tomahawk Nation was the only site telling people that the defense could be at best, slightly above average, when most people were saying it should be good to very good, and only had a few youth issues.  The problems for the defense, unfortunately, run deep and can’t be fixed quickly.  Dumb and lazy recruiting, particularly in 2006 and 2007, by the previous coaching staff (some of which is still around), a silly reliance on seniority over skill (brought on by Bobby Bowden and acquiesced to by Mickey Andrews), and ridiculously bad coaching hires on the defensive side of the ball (Jody Allen, Chuck Amato), have left this defense with a very limited ceiling.  They have the chance to be FSU’s worst defense in nearly 30 years.

However, his other half was the works. Christian Ponder had an unexpected 130+ QB rating against Miami and looked way better than the ‘Noles expected. Brian and Jeff (BC Interruption) got their pizza as they called it in AND free breadsticks which they no doubt smothered in ranch dressing.

Even though it was Northeastern – a 2-10 CAA team – the win was just what Spaziani and this young Eagles team needed. For one, the offensive output was encouraging and not much expected. It all started with the Eagles first play from scrimmage, a Montel Harris’ 48 yard TD run. The running game was able to run right through an outmanned Northeastern defense. The quarterbacks also got some much needed experience, and both Shinskie and Tuggle were able to get their first collegiate TD passes under their belts.

Mike (Tar Heel Mania) also got what he ordered as his ‘Heels feasted on a I-AA school.

Given that UNC’s expectations are high and Citadel is considered very very not good even by FCS standards, we about exactly met expectations. We didn’t disappoint and we didn’t wow.

ACC bloggers B. Rink (On the B. Rink) and Jim Young (ACCSports.com) were both pretty much disguested with what they got.

If my team is the ACC, that would be a definite and thunderous “no!”. The two losses to FCS squads, 0-2 vs. SEC, and the Wake loss at home were disappointing to say the least. It’s early, but a team like NC State that looked pretty good on paper–absolutely bombed at home versus a mediocre SEC team.

My delivery guy just gave me a sauceless pie with tofu and bean curd when I specifically asked for the meat lovers special.

Continue Reading “ACC Roundtable Roundup: FAIL, Favorites and Eff Em Over” »

SI.com’s ACC prediction is out.

In other news SI picked VT to go 11-1, win the ACC, beat Alabama and Nebraska and watch helplessly as Florida plays Texas for the crystal.

Yup they’ve got ham aids. And no it’s not caused from pig fucking.

While some affected players had already returned to practice, Cutcliffe said there were other still battling the flu-like symptoms. Citing HIPAA laws, he would not name players who had been impacted, though he said typical bouts have lasted two to three days, with some players needing quarantine.
…
Duke football head trainer Hap Zarzour said all cases have been “mild” with symptoms ranging from a cough to chest congestion to high fevers. He said one player had been officially tested and diagnosed with the H1N1 virus. Other players, he said, are presumed to have it.

Get well, get well soon we wish you to get well.

Expectations, our one weakness. ACC media members have picked Virginia Tech over Florida State in the championship game and Jonathan Dwyer as the player of the year.

Homeless because of the BCS. OK it was by choice, but regardless you have to admire Brandon Kennedy’s devotion for a playoff while shaking your head at the insanity of it.

He has drafted a paper, “The Kennedy Proposal,” that outlines a new system. He sapped nearly all of his $450 bank account to fly from his home in Washington state to Washington, D.C., and has taken up residence underneath bridges and trees in Georgetown, living homeless for the past 13 weeks as he lobbies for change. He has sent, by his estimate, more than 15,000 e-mails and letters to college athletic conference commissioners, athletic directors and NCAA officials over the past year.

Gee-ZUS! Brandon you’ve bested us and have made our posts on the subject look like 13-year-old girl hormone fueled bitchings. Check out all of his blog posts about the BCS on Bleacher Report (ick). Continue Reading “Around the Interwebs” »

And ONE egotistical maniac for a head coach, who we are surprised let this video pass by his Sauron eye since he is always looking to the future and not the past. Recently Alabama has been nothing but a name going 1 for 7 against Auburn and winning just two SEC West division titles. I cannot wait until September 5th.

RIP Doc Blanchard. Army coach Earl Blaik explained Mr. Inside’s unique football skill set as, “Imagine a big bruising fullback who runs one hundred yards in ten seconds flat, who kicks off into the end zone, who punts fifty yards, who can also sweep the flank as well as rip the middle, who catches laterals or forward passes with sure-fingered skill, and who makes his own interference. That’s Mr. Blanchard.”

Duke’s boosters are getting serious about their football program. Bob Pascal and Steve Brooks pledged a combined $10M donation to the football program.

Apparently, the economy is so bad that Blue Devils football suddenly looks like a sound investment despite a long history of failure. Then again, some of the money comes from a guy who works for AIG. Make sure the check doesn’t bounce.

Way to start off the week with some Blue Devil hate Joe Ovies. It’s nice to see Dukies are backing their program, a full length practice field seems a bit overdue, because they can increase the street cred of the ACC by becoming a respectable bottom feeder with Cutcliffe coaching and attractive facilities bringing in better recruits.

Gobbler Country breaks down the springs of those Virginia Tech opponents who held their spring game on Saturday.

Around the Interwebs is a whenever-the-eff-I-feel-like-it-a-week summary of the day’s news in college football. If you’d like your link to appear email it to cgb [at] collegegameaballs [dot] com.

Duke has been the butt of the joke that is ACC football for over 14 years.  Last year they finished #9 in ESPN’s Bottom 10 Poll.  The Blue Devil’s haven’t won an ACC game since the end of 2004 when they upset Clemson 16-13.  Between 2002 and 2007 they are 10-60 also known as pathetic even for a small, academic basketball school (see Wake Forest’s recent success). This Saturday Virginia heads to Durham, NC and Duke is the 7 point favorite.  Bwah, Duke is a favorite to win a sporting contest played with a pigskin… That’s umpossible.  Right?

Duke is actually improving under first year head coach and offensive guru David Cutcliffe. Quarterback Thaddeus Lewis has 6 touchdowns and hasn’t thrown an interception.  They’re not Mizzou, but they are able to move the ball when they need to. And to boot the defense isn’t giving up their typical droves of points. Efficient offense plus solid defense is a pretty good combination for winning football games.

On the flip side Virginia is horrible. They were lambasted by USC, mauled by Uconn and snuck one out against 1aa Richmond.  And if UVA fans weren’t already through a handle of whiskey starting QB Peter Lalich being dismissed from the team will put them over the edge.

So the question stands will Duke pass their crown off ACC’s worst to Virginia on Saturday.  Yes they will and I don’t think it will be that close.  I’m picking Duke 24-10.

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.