34-Week-Old Fetus Commits to Play Quarterback at USC

Michael and Maria Hudson are the proud, soon-to-be parents, of USC’s first commit of the 2029 class. On Sunday afternoon their unborn baby boy committed to Southern Cal and coach Lane Kiffin.

“We’re just super excited”, said Maria a 29-year-old former Song Girl and Los Angeles native, who lives with her husband Michael in Santa Monica. The couple was on campus for a weekend getaway when they bumped into Coach Kiffin.

“Well, we both were stressed out with work and the baby you know? So we said, hey, let’s head down to campus for the weekend, see some friends and relax”, Michael said. “While we were walking around campus I spotted Coach Lane ahead of us, and yelled ‘Fight On’ to get his attention.”

“He heard Mike, stopped and turned around”, said Maria. “We introduced ourselves, he shook Mike’s hand and gave me a hug. He was just so nice.”

“Coach asked us when I was due. I told him a few weeks. He looked down asked if he could feel, we both shouted ‘Of Course!’”

Kiffin, a tireless recruiter said, “Immediately I could tell there was something special going on in there. When I felt that baby move around, the way he moved, let’s just say, that’s gonna project to excellent footwork inside the pocket.”

“And, he wasn’t wearing pants… That’s a big bonus for Ed [Orgeron]“, added Kiffin.

“Coach looked excited, squatted down, looked at my wife’s belly and asked it, ‘How would you like to play for USC son?”, said a grinning Mike.

“And right as I said it, he kicked”, Kiffin said.

Maria exclaimed, ”We knew right then and there he’d be a Trojan!”

“I know that it’ll end up being a life long dream of his”, Mike said convincingly. “Conceiving my baby with Matt Leinart’s Heisman speech setting the mood was a great idea.”

The family was considering naming the boy Justin or Conner, but will name him either: Troy, Peter or Traveler.

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2 Responses to “34-Week-Old Fetus Commits to Play Quarterback at USC”

  1. 1InTheBleachers on Feb 8, 2010 at 8:59 am:

    Does that mean he’s going to be rolling in a stroller with rims, getting HJ’s from high schoolers when he’s in middle school and driving that new Jetson’s mobile when he hits 16?

    Some kids have all the luck. Bastard.

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