Furrer4Heisman asked me to answer five questions and one bonus question (that is actually a statement) about the Hokies. I like the cut of his jib, so I obliged.

1. Do you think the 2009 season was a successful one for Virginia Tech?

If I define success as meeting or exceeding my preseason expectations, then no 2009 wasn’t successful. However, it wasn’t a failure either. Based on our talent and experience we should have won the ACC. OK, so Georgia Tech was pretty good too. But losing a Thursday nighter in the Thunderdome to 4-3 North Carolina was inexcusable. In my eyes, what redeemed the season was the fact that we bounced back and didn’t go into the tank like 2003 quitters.

Beamer’s Memo to Players Quitting on the Family. More BEAMER FACE are here.

2. Did Bryan Stinespring and the Hokie offense finally turn a corner in 2009 or are you still pessimistic about the future of the offense?

The 2009 offense proved it was capable of blowing out average teams while doing everything from struggling pathetically to being competitive against great ones. By nature I’m an optimist, so, no I’m not pessimistic about the offense in 2010. This past season was a great step forward, and with most of the offense returning it served as a great building block.

The two major issues Bryan Stinespring and the offensive brain-trust need to address for 2010 are replacing Sergio Render (because Ed Wang is addition by subtraction) and how many touches to give Ryan Williams. I’m not too worried about replacing Render even though he was all time. Regardless of the expectations, the offensive line always turns out to be average. I’m concerned the powers that be will fuck up the Ryan Williams/Darren Evans/Josh Oglesby/David Wilson #situation (get it). Here’s what needs to happen. RMFW needs to get most of the carries and crap lightening. Evans has to punish defenders and provide a change of pace. Josh-O needs to handle mop-up duty and David Wilson needs to find a pair of slacks to go with his redshirt.

3. Can the inconsistency of the defense this season be blamed mostly on youth at linebacker and injuries to key players like John Graves or were other factors at play?

I blame the defensive gaffs on giving up backbreaking big plays and Waylon Smithers’ fear of strippers and tits in general.

4. Which player was the biggest surprise to you in 2009, good or bad?

Kam Chancellor. Bad. Very Bad.

5. If the Hokies could go back and replay one of their three losses, which one would you replay?

/drinks glass of Jameson

Bonus question: Write a haiku about Ryan Williams.

crisp air slaps my face
pay attention, Three-Four scores
pour out bourbon shots