Disclaimer: This was written quickly and haphazardly. Thanks to our engineering buddies, drivers of the Wreck, purveyors of fine pussy and sippers of $10 beers From the Rumble Seat for hosting.

1. Alright fellas, this is your turn to apologize to the Boston College Eagles who went to Hell and back and have now arrived as the 3rd team for the ACC (and only team in the Atlantic) to be bowl eligible. You know you were snickering in the preseason. Also, give a high five to Mark Herzlich for finishing his last treatment of chemo.

I would apologize, but who’s going to hear it? Brian is out at the mall picking out his summer clothes with Mrs. Brian, because you know you need to stay two seasons ahead. Jeff is going back and forth to Bed Bath and Beyond until he finds the right drapes and rug combination for the new living room decor. Herzlich is an Animal Champion Warrior Legend.

2. An Orange Bowl victory over a Boise/ TCU or an Orange Bowl victory over a Penn State/ Cincy team – which means more for the conference? Is there even a difference?

The conference would benefit the most in the following scenarios:

1. Win against one loss Penn State
2. Win against undefeated Cincinnati
3. Win against undefeated Boise State
4. Win against undefeated TCU
5. Win against a bourboned up Furrer4Heisman
6. If 1-4 all lose then I think one loss Cincinnati is the best win.

3. Enough with the CJ Spillers, the Christian Ponders, and the Jacory Harrises. We wanna talk defense. Who is the defensive POTY thus far in the ACC?

I am, because every time I go to the bar and get into a drunken argument with some fuck-face SEC or Big 12 fan I defend the ACC. Count it.

4. Recently, Bird compared the Atlantic to the Big 12 North.Is this a fair comparison? The Coastal is currently 8-2 against the Atlantic. There are still 8 interdivision games left. Can the Atlantic redeem itself this season?

Right now it definitely is, 2-8 is 2-8 and the Atlantic doesn’t have a team ranked in any of the major polls. However, they can definitely redeem themselves. There are more than enough games left to get them over .500 and they could always pull the upset in the ACCCG.

5. Tailgating is essential to all things football. In Atlanta, the tailgating game of choice is cornhole. What is your game of choice to pass the time?

How about slamming beers to my fucking dome until I’m so drunk that the only three things my body is capable of doing is drinking more, eating and farting. If you’re talking leisure activities not, solely, intended on making your liver squeal then I have to go with beer pong.

6. Let’s cut to the chase. There are two kinds of people: sheep and sharks. Sharks are winners and they don’t look back ‘cause they don’t have necks. Necks are for sheep. Is your team full of sharks or is your team full of sheep?

Sharks. Fuck the Jets. We’ve been the ruling party of the ACC since 2004. As of right now, we’ve lost our way a little bit, but we’ll be back.

7. Create a cocktail in the spirit of your school and explain it to us. Non-edible ingredients are allowed and encouraged.

2 parts Hokie Stone – It’s the foundation of our University.
5 parts Wild Turkey – It gets us loaded.
1 part disappointment – We’ve been so close one too many times.