On Tuesday I posted four questions that I thought would fall on the deaf ears of the BlogPoll community. I was wrong. Fifteen blogs responded (if I missed you contact me). And all I have to say is thanks assholes for making this post keep me up until 3am. The summary below is compromised of, what I considered to be, the single best response from each blog.

1. Which freshman impressed you more last weekend: the California dream Matt Barkley who quarterbacked USC over tOSU or white lightening Tate Forcier who slashed through Notre Dame? Which one would you like to have on your team? Feel free to write in another worth candidate.

Put the knife a little deeper in my sack, why don’t ya. Am I to sit here and say that I want the starting quarterback of one of the two biggest rivals on my team? Did I not suffer enough Saturday? Well if you want an answer, than you will have to handle the consequences… I don’t give a shit. Send me either. I don’t care. Both will sit behind Clausen this year and possibly next year. If Jimmy leaves early, they will sit behind Dayne Crist next year- and every year that he is there. They will sit behind Andrew Hendrix or Tommy Rees (incoming freshmen for 2010). I might even redshirt Forcier and Barkley- just so they could sit on the bench for 5 years.

Are you fucking serious asking that question to me? Shit.

Not only am I asking you that question, Subway Domer, but we are nose to nose, bits of the double bacon cheeseburger I had for lunch are flying out of my mouth and I’m taking unnecessarily long, arrogant deep breaths after every sentence. I think almost everyone else went with Forcier because it was a shit-ass question on my part. Thanks for bailing me out Domer.

2. Let’s play a game of pretend the unthinkable happened. Commissioner __________ of your conference has been forced to resign after he was caught canoodling with some harlots. Great news, you’ve been chosen to succeed him. To make your mark you decide to make a big change. What is it going to be?

Over the Pylon used the word weiner in their response; winner winner chicken dinner.

Oh my, Jon Steinbrecher. I always told you your weiner was going to get you in trouble. The MAC has so many problems, my first official act as commissioner would be to resign. That’s not an option? Piss. Ok… in that case I would begin to edict things that is going to force the conference to either succeed or fail. I would mandate no FCS scheduling. That doesn’t help the conference’s national attention with a victory, and kills it with a loss. Schedule the Sun Belt, schedule CUSA, I don’t give a damn. But you’re not going to schedule BS opponents and act like you’ve done something.

Second, I would morph the conference into a balanced league. This 13-team setup sucks. Therefore, one team’s got to go. I would make each and every conference member present to my office what they would do over the next 5 years to increase the viability, reputation, and success of football on their campus. In those plans would need to be tangible measurable goals that my office would evaluate. The team that doesn’t meet them or fails the worst… so long.

It is only through that, that the conference itself may regain some of the luster that was lost. There was a time, when Chad Pennington, Byron Leftwich, Ben Roethlisberger, and Randy Moss ran over MAC teams. Now, we’re sort of a joke. And that’s gotta stop.

I like their approach and think ALL I-A schools should stop scheduling I-AA teams. Teams are only going to get better if they play better teams and the conference is only going to gain respect if they beat quality opponents.

Buckeye Commentary wants to go round-robin in the Big Ten. That sounds phenomenal.

Round Robin scheduling. It has to be done in the Big Ten. I could be living in a cave but I do not sense that much desire amongst to get Notre Dame in the league. And, if not them, who? Let’s stick with 11 teams, play 10 league games, and preserve all the traditional rivalry games, i.e., Ohio State and Michigan play the last week of the season. With the 10-game conference game schedule the issue of the league calendar becomes a bit more pressing. Part of the draw of the expanded conference run, we would mandate that teams not schedule cream puffs in the middle of the conference schedule so teams are going to need at least one – and probably two – bye weeks tucked into the slate. That means the season will end in the first of December, which will finally bring the weather into play for the Big Ten.

I think most people are clamoring for Notre Dame to join any conference and the Big Ten is just the most logical and convenient. Even if the Big Ten had twelve teams they could still go round-robin and play a single out of conference rival. And for a huge shocker Wolverines and Buckeyes in agreement. Sort of? Ace from The Wolverine Blog pushes this agenda.

I considered saying add a 12th team and created a conference championship game, but outside of Notre Dame (and that isn’t happening) there isn’t really a team that sticks out to me as one I’d like to see join the Big Ten. Instead, I’d push the start of the conference schedule back a week, so Big Ten teams have a game after Thanksgiving and therefore stay in the national spotlight as bowl season approaches. Also, I’d throw a giant party to celebrate the demise of Jim Delaney, and immediately vouch for a college football playoff system, but I don’t think that’s really answering the question here.

It is hard for me to shit on the Big Ten since they get two BCS teams almost every year. But I 100% agree, get out of the stone age push the conference schedule back a week. And just don’t have strippers come to to the “See You in Hell Delaney” party, otherwise your ass might be out the door too.

Poseur (And the Valley Shook), an obvious communist, wants to make the SEC interdivision scheduling more fair.

Screw the third Saturday in October. That’s right, screw it. I’m getting read of the “rivalry” game. I’d make all six teams rotate through each team’s inter-divisional schedule. Play three teams in a home and home, then rotate the three other teams for a home and home. That way, a four-year senior will actually play in every SEC stadium. And LSU will get to play Vanderbilt more often and Florida less. Sure, there would be much wailing and gnashing of teeth, but it would result in a more equitable schedule.

Then I would have the SEC invade Mexico.

I give the idea props because it is going against the grain, but I don’t like it. Florida and LSU need to play each year because they’re the premier teams in the SEC. And as far as invading the Mexico, you ESS EEE CEErs really do think you could take it over.

It is evident either Brian or Jeff (BCI), maybe both, have their eye on Swofford’s job because they have an intelligent, well thought out plan.

This is an easy one. First, we are realigning the ACC’s divisions so that they make, you know, sense to the rest of college football. The ACC remains the only college football conference that has divisions that don’t break down along geographic lines (and as a result, make absolutely no sense to outsiders). Effective immediately, the ACC will be realigned into North and South divisions. The ACC North will be the old ACC Atlantic, sending Florida State and Clemson packing and replacing them with Virginia and Virginia Tech. Yes, I realize that this precludes a Florida State vs. Miami (Fla.) ACC Championship Game, but how many times has that mythical game happened, Hurricane fans? Exactly. Deal with it.

Second, we are doing away with these manufactured inter-conference rivalry games. We will be adopting the Big XII schedule format where teams play 3 teams from the other division on a home-and-home format, then play the other 3 schools over the next 2 year period. When the division crown is an 8 game race, is it really fair that Clemson-Georgia Tech and BC-Virginia Tech play annually while the Deacons get an easy win again Duke?

Third, the ACC Championship Game is moving to Charlotte. Permanently. This championship game played in Florida experiment was cute and all, but enough is enough. But what about Charlotte weather in December? you might say. The Big XII hosts championship games in cold-weather cities. They haven’t seemed to have many issues there. And Charlotte is a major East coast hub and central to a majority of ACC programs.

Finally, we will threaten to pull out of the ACC-ESPN TV deal for basketball (No Duke-Carolina for you!) to negotiate a television deal where every ACC football game is available on television. No more of this ESPN360.com junk. Football is meant to be watched on a high-def TV, not my 19″ Thinkpad laptop screen.

Wait a minute, SENSIBLE PEOPLE CAN’T BE IN POWERFUL DECISION MAKING ROLLS. Sorry guys.

Brandon (BIG RED network) has a very logical reason to give Colorado DAS BOOT.

Is there any doubt said canoodling occurred in Jerry Jones box at the space palace? This one’s easy for me and not remotely realistic. Colorado keeps eying the Pac-10 whenever that conference talks about expansion, so why not let them go? I’ve always wished TCU was a part of the Big 12–the Frogs got snubbed when the SWC was disbanding–because I like their style of football and they have a pretty rich tradition. Adding the Frogs allows OU to move to the North and with Colorado gone, Nebraska and Oklahoma can resume their yearly post-Thanksgiving shenanigans. Three birds, one stone.

This is the first time I’ve heard about Colorado’s desire to join the Pac-10. Interesting, but unfortunate because their offense is putrid. HAWK.

3. This week the quality of games is kicked up a gear. Other than your own, which game are you most looking forward to?

F4H from Gobbler Country is amping up for BYU-Florida State. Too bad he can’t watch it, ahahaha SUCKER!

Definitely Florida State at BYU. Oh wait. I have DirecTV, so I might as well try to watch that game on a fucking raccoon.

I have full faith that Steve the Raccoon will be able to broadcast the game in SDTV, but you’re shit out of luck if you have a HDTV. I promise to keep my ACC homerism short, but this is another important weekend for the ACC. The conference can continue to repair its broke-ass image by winning their out of conference games (VT-Nebraska, UNC-ECU, Duke-Kansas, Mid Ten St-Maryland, Virginia-Southern Miss, Gardner-Webb-NCST, Elon-Wake Forest).

Simon thinks Washington could be a trap game for USC.

I know this may be an odd choice, especially given the fact I likely won’t be able to watch it, but if I could watch just one game this weekend it would be USC at Washington. Washington this season has already shown that they can be competitive at home against a solid team in their 8 point loss to LSU. USC is coming off their biggest OOC win of the year but has proven in the past that they can be susceptible of the shocking upset. I have a sneaking suspicion that this is going to be a close game and a headache for Pete Carroll.

Not to mention Sarkisian has an intimate knowledge of USC that he can use to his advantage. Twenty cocktails awarded for outside the box thinking.

Brendan’s (my favorite Wahoo who pens at From Old Virginia) game of the week resides in Big Ten Country.

Michigan State-Notre Dame. This was supposed to be a pretty epic battle between two teams with high expectations. Both were thinking New Year’s bowl games. Last week didn’t go as planned for either one, and now the team that loses is going to walk out with severely crashed expectations. I like it better this way. The stakes are higher now – you lose, you start thinking maybe Detroit’s not such a bad place to play a bowl game.

(FTR, people, it’s not. But still. It’s no Rose Bowl.)

Go Sparty!

4. What mascot and/or tradition would you thieve from another school if it was socially acceptable.

I know that not many will agree with me here, but I love UVA fans and their callous indifference to the actual games on the field (their students/fans infamously go to games dressed up in tuxedos and sundresses). It’s wonderful; their students didn’t go to a FSU for a reason. Why would you want to stamp out a tradition that makes the school unique? For sweatshirts and facepaint? The fact that the effort to homogenize UVA is led by Al Groh, awful coach and screaming taskmaster-cum-Tom Coughlin disciple seemingly put on earth to take lollipops from orphans and stomp out all of forms of dancing in a backwards midwestern town, only compound the reasons to support the dandies and their social outings.

Congratulations Bleed Scarlet y’all are the first to ever shout-out Jefferson’s University. “Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

Barking Carnival wants to bring in Keggy as a sidekick for Bevo. Not sure if Keggy’s agent will sign off on that since he’s a lead roll type of mascot, but…

I’ll incorporate Keggy into my own traditions with Bevo. Each week, Keggy’s role can be fulfilled by a different convict who would otherwise be performing in prison rodeos. Keggy-convict’s objective would be to ride the beast, possibly spurring him into the opposing team’s Cool Zone equipment or trampling a male cheerleader. The keg costume would prevent major injury, working much like the barrels of a rodeo clown. Good family fare.

Also he can dispense copious amounts of alcohol. I mean what else is there really?

My Opinion on Sports wants pirates and a band not afraid of PDA.

I’ll take the East Carolina Pirate for my mascot.

As for tradition I’ll take Texas A&M. Who wouldn’t love a crowd that sways, a band that carries swords and a kiss after every touchdown?

ScalpEm.com takes take this question to the extreme and also calls out school’s traditions.

Considering FSU has the tradition of Osceola and Renegade, thinking of another one is tough. First let me start with what I wouldn’t take, because I think they are endlessly stupid.

• The dotting of the I at Ohio State. Dumb, Dumb, Dumb.
• Jump Around at Wisconsin. Hi, welcome to the early 90’s, that’s how we roll up here in Wiscannnsin.
• Anything having to do with Zombie Nation
• The stupid Leprechaun at Notre Dame games. Yeah, ye little Irish guy. That’s great.
• The Hokie Pokey… yep, I saw it live at the National Championship game in 1999. It sucked then, and it still sucks.

On to what I might steal:

• Enter Sandman entrance at Virginia Tech.
• Howard’s Rock at Clemson.

…and what I would definitely steal:

• The USC Song Girls.
• The Texas cheerleaders (both cowgirl squad and chaps squad).

ScalpEm definitely thinks with his dick. My hat is off to you sir.

Here are the links to everyone’s full responses. Please read them. NOW!

http://overthepylon.net/2009/09/16/blogpoll-roundtable-2/ [Over the Pylon]
http://www.buckeyecommentary.com/09/blogpoll-roundtable-freshman-tradition-and-scandal/ [Buckeye Commentary]
http://bleedscarlet.wordpress.com/2009/09/15/week-two-blogpoll-roundtable/ [Bleed Scarlet]
http://barkingcarnival.com/2009/09/15/blogpoll-roundtable-musings/ [Barking Carnival]
http://subwaydomer.blogspot.com/2009/09/blogpoll-roundtable-freshman-tradition.html [Subway Domer]
http://www.scalpem.com/blog/2009/09/15/blogpoll-roundtable-volume-2-freshman-tradition-and-scandal/ [ScalpEm.com]
http://www.gobblercountry.com/2009/9/15/1031749/blogpoll-roundtable-i-run-this [Gobbler Country]
http://myopiniononsports.blogspot.com/2009/09/barkley-or-forcier-roundtable.html [My Opinion on Sports]
http://simononsports.blogspot.com/2009/09/blogpoll-roundtable-week-3.html [SimonOnSports]
http://fromoldvirginia.blogspot.com/2009/09/blogpoll-roundtable-2.html [From Old Virginia]
http://www.thewolverineblog.com/2009/09/15/blogpoll-roundtable-week-two/ [The Wolverine Blog]
http://www.andthevalleyshook.com/2009/9/15/1032153/week-two-blogpoll-roundtable-and [And the Valley Shook]
http://www.bcinterruption.com/2009/09/blogpoll-roundtable-2-or-when-yankee.html [BC Interruption]
http://bigrednetwork.com/archives/2009/09/blogpoll_roundtable_week_2.html [BIG RED network]