1. *Ding Dong* The pizza man is here, did your team deliver what you expected in their opener, why or why not?

*Ding Dong* shitty question here, who wrote that trash? Oh… That’s right I’m hosting this weeks ACC Roundtable so be prepared to read outstanding answers to four suck-ass questions. Brendan (From Old Virginia) really put the rest of you guys to shame with his response.

ROFLCOPTER

SOI SOI SOI SOI GOES THE ROFLCOPTER CARRYING AL GROH

Bird (From the Rumble Seat) wrote what every fan would when their team wins by twenty, he complains about the lack of a flyover. He also points out GT fumbled three times, which against a better opponent can/will cost them the game.

Just another thing we do better than GT.

Joe Ovies (850 & 620 The Blog) regales us with a “wish I was back in college story”.

NC State: An old college friend worked as manager at Gumby’s Pizza in Raleigh. One night, he received a complaint call from a customer. Was the pizza cold? Was it not what they had ordered? Nope. The pizza delivery guy was so high, that he passed out on their couch. He just walked in, gave the guys their pizza, and crashed. That was the Wolfpack last Thursday.

Gumby’s Pokey Sticks are excellent when inebriated. James C (yet another… N.C. State Sports Blog) agrees with Joe that the offense plummeted into Carter-Finley.

The offense that was supposed to light the world on fire barely crossed the 50.

What happened to Russel Wilson is my question, did all the preseason hype go to his head? Also Dana Bible is NC State’s Bryan Stinespring. shivers

My brother from another mother F4H (Gobbler Country) likens the Virginia Tech offense to anchovies.

Again, with the anchovies. Always with the anchovies. Every year I order supreme and every year you bring me friggin’ [fucking] anchovies. At least the defense brought meat lovers.

Bud Foster’s homemade pizza is a pepperoni log, smoked pork underbelly and ball of mozzarella cheese mashed together between his hands. Anyways, I would say the Hokie offense is like a deconstructed pizza, the finest ingredients not put together. AND THAT FALLS ON YOUR SHOULDERS OFFENSIVE COACHES. Willy Mac and Chilli (Block-C) got served a half-assed pizza, probably Lunchables brand.

I pretty much expected a half-assed performance by Clemson and that’s exactly what I got. After the game I waited, hoping to hear Dabo chew the shit out of the team, but instead it seemed that he gave them fairly positive marks. Which means he is aware what they’re capable of and they’re delivering it, or he’s a “praise in public, damn in private” sort of guy which is a good leadership quality according to those who know such things.

FSUncensored (Tomahawk Nation) got the defensive half of his pie exactly how he ordered it, no cheese.

Tomahawk Nation was the only site telling people that the defense could be at best, slightly above average, when most people were saying it should be good to very good, and only had a few youth issues.  The problems for the defense, unfortunately, run deep and can’t be fixed quickly.  Dumb and lazy recruiting, particularly in 2006 and 2007, by the previous coaching staff (some of which is still around), a silly reliance on seniority over skill (brought on by Bobby Bowden and acquiesced to by Mickey Andrews), and ridiculously bad coaching hires on the defensive side of the ball (Jody Allen, Chuck Amato), have left this defense with a very limited ceiling.  They have the chance to be FSU’s worst defense in nearly 30 years.

However, his other half was the works. Christian Ponder had an unexpected 130+ QB rating against Miami and looked way better than the ‘Noles expected. Brian and Jeff (BC Interruption) got their pizza as they called it in AND free breadsticks which they no doubt smothered in ranch dressing.

Even though it was Northeastern – a 2-10 CAA team – the win was just what Spaziani and this young Eagles team needed. For one, the offensive output was encouraging and not much expected. It all started with the Eagles first play from scrimmage, a Montel Harris’ 48 yard TD run. The running game was able to run right through an outmanned Northeastern defense. The quarterbacks also got some much needed experience, and both Shinskie and Tuggle were able to get their first collegiate TD passes under their belts.

Mike (Tar Heel Mania) also got what he ordered as his ‘Heels feasted on a I-AA school.

Given that UNC’s expectations are high and Citadel is considered very very not good even by FCS standards, we about exactly met expectations. We didn’t disappoint and we didn’t wow.

ACC bloggers B. Rink (On the B. Rink) and Jim Young (ACCSports.com) were both pretty much disguested with what they got.

If my team is the ACC, that would be a definite and thunderous “no!”. The two losses to FCS squads, 0-2 vs. SEC, and the Wake loss at home were disappointing to say the least. It’s early, but a team like NC State that looked pretty good on paper–absolutely bombed at home versus a mediocre SEC team.

My delivery guy just gave me a sauceless pie with tofu and bean curd when I specifically asked for the meat lovers special.

2. The ACC was downright pathetic in week one. Which display of ineptitude shocked you the most? Going forward is there hope for the conference?

Our blogglomerate is pointing the fingers at you Virginia and NC State. Brian explains all the fuss over the NC State loss to South Carolina the best.

You have to scratch your head when you see NC State and All-ACC quarterback Russell Wilson manage 3 points at home against South Carolina on Thursday night. NC State was a chic preseason Atlantic Division champion pick and managed to lay a huge offensive egg in week 1 on national television. NC State only managed 133 yards of total offense, and Wilson completely only 52.2% of his pass attempts.

Chilli straight up let’s Virginia have it.

William and Mary making Virginia their bitch so damned bad that the Cavaliers now sit down to piss on instinct alone. I mean shit, UVA, nobody expected you to be worldbeaters, but damn. Anyway, this is what you get for waitlisting me again, so fuck y’all. Except Blair, she’s good people.

And FSUncensored piles on, personal foul 15 yards big boy

Virginia had one of the worst efforts I have ever seen in a college football game. Losing to William and Mary should be a fireable offense. I realize some of their game was poor fumble luck, but that is a black eye on the conference from which they might not soon recover.

100 cocktails to Blair. According to Joe there is hope.

There is hope, because the media has the attention span of a bird. Miami and Florida State put on an entertaining football game for a national audience, and suddenly the pundits were proclaiming both programs are back. After this upcoming weekend, the media will focus on what’s eating the Big Ten. Ohio State, their lone BCS contender, will likely get spanked by Southern Cal and Michigan will lose to Notre Dame. Combined with this past week’s near misses, the ACC will be off the radar.

And F4H says we’re all fucked six ways until Sunday.

You can’t really say Virginia Tech, Virginia and Duke’s performances were shocking. I mean, at this point, being shocked at those results would be like being shocked by your son’s third DUI. No, the most shocking FAIL was NC State, who was completely shut down by a mediocre South Carolina team for the second consecutive season. I thought Russell Wilson was supposed to be like a football version of David Thompson. Instead, the Pack set the tone for the weekend. The Canes and Jackets are the best hope for the conference, but I don’t see either running the table.

Well he didn’t put it that bleakly, but I will. Aside from potential huge out of conference wins ie Clemson > TCU, FSU > BYU, VT > Nebraska and GT > Georgia this will be another year of parity with the division races not settled until the final weekend of the season. Prepare to be mocked for balance ACC fans!

3. After the show they put on Monday night, Atlantic bloggers is FSU the team to beat and what about Miami Coastalites?

For Florida State

Joe thinks the division is FSU’s unless NC State gets their shit in check:

Unless NC State gets their offense going, Florida State is now the team to beat in the Atlantic. The running game was present, Christian Ponder looked like a legit QB and the receivers actually caught the football. The Wolfpack isn’t toast after one game, but I’m back in “show me” mode with the offensive line and receivers.

Jim agrees based on different logic:

Yes, I think FSU is the team to beat in the Atlantic. I know some BC folks are trying to talk themselves into contender status, but until the Eagles figure out their quarterback situation, I’m not buying it. As for the other Week 1 winner in the division, I’m still not hopping on the Clemson bandwagon until I see what Kyle Parker does against real competition.

Against Florida State

Brian making logical arguments:

The Atlantic Division race is again going to be very interesting this season. It’s simply way too soon to crown Florida State the division champ based on Monday night’s performance. There were plenty of things I didn’t like about the Seminoles performance that can be overlooked by simply looking at the 38-34 final score. For one, where was the Seminoles rushing game? It is true that the Seminoles rushed for 110 yards on the night, but 69 of those yards came late in the fourth quarter (and a bulk of those 69 yards came off two runs, including the Ponder scramble for 30 yards on 3rd and 3).

More importantly, where was the much heralded Seminole defense? The defensive line hardly got any pressure on Jacory Harris and only got to Harris once all night. The play in the secondary was even worse. Didn’t catch the game? You didn’t miss anything from the FSU secondary. Look no further than Jacory Harris’s stat line on the night – 21 of 34 passing, 386 yards, 2 TD, 2 INT, 11.4 yards per throw. Mind you this is a kid making his third career collegiate start in Doak Campbell Stadium on national television, and the Seminole secondary let Harris drop Bernie Kosar-like numbers on them.

James thinks we’ll be able to make a better argument after tonight’s GT-Clemson game:

I still think the Atlantic is a three-team race between FSU, Clemson and N.C. State. Russell Wilson will go back to being Russell Wilson once our receivers learn to hold onto the football when it hits them in the pads/hands/face. We’ll know A LOT more about the Atlantic race once we see how Clemson fares against Georgia Tech Thursday night.

For Miami

I’ll tell you why Miami is my favorite, as of now. They have the biggest win of any ACC team, on the road.  Their offense looked, dare I type it, explosive and their defense is loaded with speed and is only going to get better. Phil Steele picked Da U second in the division before Darren Evans went down. He also cited VT’s offensive line as a strength which after one game has been proven to be a push or weakness. Miami gets GT at home on a short week, but then has a long week before heading up to Blacksburg which I feel is very favorable.

Against Miami

Bird thinks the race has just begun:

After GT plays Clemson on Thursday night, we’ll know who the strongest team in the Coastal is because everyone in the top end of the Coastal will have played a decent I-A team.  Just because Miami threw for a billion yards against FSU doesn’t mean Miami is back.  It may mean FSU is bad and Miami’s offense is not inept – a high likelihood since the departure of Pat Nix.

B. Rink say you have to beat the man to be the man. Woo!

Miami’s display on offense was something. New Miami OC Mark Whipple was carving up FSU’s deficient D with skillful use of some real talents. Canes QB Jacory Harris won’t be on like that all season, but Miami is now on the radar nationally. Despite the performance, Miami has to beat the man, Virginia Tech, to win the Coastal on the road–just too much of a leap for me to take.

4. You’ve been granted one curse, other than your opponent pick one team you would like to see lose in week 2.

• BCI: Sorry Jeff [Mrs. Jeff is a Clemson Alumn I can hear her badmouthing Brian from 500 miles away], but there’s only one other game that matters this week for the Eagles, and that’s tomorrow night’s Clemson at Georgia Tech game. BC needs Georgia Tech to beat Clemson to give Clemson an early ACC loss.
• Brendan: I’ll take Maryland for all the schadenfreudey goodness of watching a rival join the ranks of I-AA dog chow. Then we can argue back and forth about whether JMU or W&M is the better team. Misery loves company.
• F4H: Georgia Tech. We’re going to need the Jackets to lose to as many Atlantic opponents as possible. Winfield, you were a great host this weekend, but you’d be an even better host if you lost to the Tigers. Cosigned.
• Joe: Maryland. Force John Swofford to seriously look at a “relegation” deal with the CAA after James Madison takes another ACC scalp.
• Chili: I’ll use any of my newly granted curse giving mojo to earnestly hope for a structural collapse and a rare inland tsunami to wipe the face of the earth of everyone attending the UGA-Sakerlina game this weekend.
• Willy Mac: Notre Dame because I actually like to watch Michigan and I hate their fans liek any good southern football fan would.
• FSUncensored: Clemson. If the Tigers win tomorrow night in Atlanta against Georgia Tech, they will have a huge lead for the Atlantic Division. Go Georgia Tech!
• Jim: It’s not good business for me to go around purposely antagonizing fan bases in the ACC, so I’m going to duck this question and go with my default answer: Notre Dame. Booooooo! to the logic 100 cocktails to the pick.
• Mike: Florida. Because it would be really, really funny to see them lose to Troy. If that happens I’ll all-o-yall down to Mons Venus for lap dances on me.
• B. Rink: I would like to see Clemson beat Georgia Tech in this week’s only ACC matchup. This vaults a new contender on the scene with Clemson and puts Georgia Tech’s back against the wall for the rest of the season in the tough Coastal.
• James: I guess it would have to be Clemson. The Atlantic Division is very much up for grabs, and if FSU and Clemson were to BOTH start the season 0-1 in the league, that would improve State’s chances of winning the divisional title.
• Bird: Georgia.  They will fall from the rankings like a lead pot in the ocean only to reemerge in the national spotlight when they get plastered by ranked opponents on national TV. Spitefull, I like it.
• Me: I curseth Jo-Jah Tech for the same selfish reasons explained by 80% of the good writers above.

I’ve only included short clips from everyone’s posts. Go ahead and read their full responses. No seriously do it now or I’ll cram my foot up your ass. SERIOUSLY GET ON AND GO!

Gobbler Country – 2009 ACC Blogger Roundtable: I Didn’t Order Anchovies
From Old Virginia – ACC Roundtable
850 & 620 The Blog – ACC Blogger Roundtable Week 1
Block-C – BLOG ROUNDTABLE WEEK 1
Tomahawk Nation – ACC Roundtable Week 1
ACC Sports Journal – ACC Blog Roundtable, Week 2
Tar Heel Mania – ACC Roundtable Week 1: Break Up The FCS!
On the B. Rink – ACC Roundtable: Week One
yet another… N.C. State Sports Blog – ACC Roundtable: Week 1 Review
From the Rumble Strip – ACC Roundtable Week 1
BC Interruption – ACC Roundtable 2: Spaziani, Eagles Deliver