For the two weeks prior to NCAA 10’s release I sported a hard on that can only be described as Pinocchio stuffed down my pants exclaiming, “Mi piace, Mi piace!” And now my digital season is over before the biological one begins. EA Sports promotes NCAA 10 as authentic college style gameplay. FYI no one wants that shit. Gamers want a fun arcade style simulation. Or at least I do and that’s all that matters around here. This is what they should have developed: NCAA 09 + Online Stability Improvements + Online Dynasty Features (custom conference) + Updated Rosters. Instead this is what we got…

Game Planning

I was so amped for this feature, but alas it sucks balls. The menu should read:

• ‘Y‘ PENALTIES
• ‘A‘ NCAA 09 (WE SHOULDN’T HAVE FUCKED WITH SUCCESS)
• ‘X‘ HAVE AN ERECT STREAM OF BYTES PULVERIZE YOUR ASS

Player Lock

Too bad it is totally nerfed in an online game and it doesn’t reverse the camera angle.

Potential Proxy Target Locations

Repeat after me, I’m not a real life college quarterback screening the field for open receivers, I’m not a real life college quarterback screening the field for open receivers. I can see ALL of them on my television because it isn’t 120s yard long and 160 feet wide. As a side effect scrambling is like controlling a drunken sailor because of the always changing camera angle.

More Gripes

• Scrambling quarterbacks cannot get outside the pocket. Duke defensive ends ≯ Tyrod Taylor.
• No pocket develops for the quarterback yielding entirely too many sacks.
• Gimmick plays and screens still have a 1% success rate. And don’t tell me I should design my entire strategy around setting up Jet Sweep.

In Conclusion I’m Getting Madden