I am Magglio Merkin. CGB asked me to chime in on the BigTen, Michigan Athletics or basically anything on his blog. I usually curse often, but I will try to hold back until I get the lay of the land. I don’t want to come off as an asshole. Let me know what you think in the comments. kthankbai.

1.Will Rich Rodriguez turn it around at Michigan in year two?

Good God I hope so. I have never known how long the off season is when you don’t make a bowl game. 1999 must have really sucked for the buckeye faithful.

2. Is Juice Williams going to do something, anything in ‘09?

When the Juice is on it is spectacular. I think the team will be decent. They lost some talent at wideout, but Juice is a special player if he can gain consistency.

3. What’s the final score of tOSU v USC?

Unfortunately this will not be another 35-3 satchel pounding. The buckeyes will be more mature at QB and they tend to reload at RB and LB so those key off season losses may not be as important as they seem. TP will pressure the defense and open it up for heir apparent Brandon Saine. I fear the young QB USC is going to run out there may be a bit intimidated in the shoe. USC goes down fighting 24-21.

4. Is Danny Hope going to turn around Purdue?

Has anybody “turned around” Purdue in the history of ever? On the other hand the guy could go 5-7 and it would be considered a turn around… so… no.

5. Will he put on 200lbs to complete the Joe Tiller impersonation.

There is nothing more salty and fat than a depressed Midwesterner throwing on pounds in the dead of winter after losing twice as many games as they win. Absolutely.

6. Will Wisconsin start fast and die slow?

I don’t see Wisconsin starting fast or dying slow. They will start slow and die fast. That line is looking weak as all hell this season and, shit, we beat them last year so they have to suck right?

7. Is Terrelle Pryor ready to become the big man on campus?

Eff him. Yes, eff him, he is. Eff him, he is a solid QB, eff him. And eff him, he is going to be a menace, eff him for two more years, eff him, in the Big Ten, eff him.

8. The Heather Dinich Bowl, Indiana @ Virginia, who wins it?

I googled Heather Dinich and this came up:

followed by this:

There is a Seinfeld “she only looks good in certain lighting” joke in there somewhere. I am going withVirginia becauseIndiana seriously sucks at football. At leastVirginia has not sucked in the recent past.

9. Will Northwestern be able to fill C.J. Bacher’s shoes?

Uhhh…2009 stats: 60% completion percentage, 17 passing TDs, 14 INTs. I hope so, but we are talking about the purple Wildcats here. No.

10. Will TCF Bank Stadium raise Minnesota’s profile?

I think so. The dome was a curse and really elevated the risk of injury to their players. I think they will get better recruits in the new digs, but they had better reel in Seantrel Henderson (2010 National #1 overall recruit from Minnesota) or else they are in trouble. If you can’t sell a home grown kid on that new stadium in year one then you have issues a new stadium isn’t going to change.

11. Will a soft out of conference schedule (Akron, Syracuse, Temple and Eastern Illinois) hurt Penn State’s BCS chances?

No, soft schedules are the new snap bracelet. They are sweet and they rarely poke your eye out or slice your wrists. Shit is cool until the principle bans them.

12. Can Andre Anderson replace Javon Ringer’s productivity in Sparty’s backfield.

No. Javon Ringer stayed healthy (miraculously) and if they put that much on Anderson he is breaking down at some point.

13. How many yards does Jewel Hampton rush for at Iowa?

I am going with less than 1,000. I think Iowa will be good, but they aren’t coming close to replacing their first All American RB since 1939.

14. How many wins do Bret Bielema and Bill Lynch each need to get off the hot-seat?

Bret Bielema is screwed unless he wins the Big Ten and that isn’t happening. The guy dinosaur offense-d his way into a loss to the Wolverines last year. That is not good.

Bill Lynch needs to make IU relevant in the Big Ten. He needs a good showing, maybe top half? There is a slim chance of that happening. He is far safer than caveman coach in Madison.

15. Is @Play4Brew the best tweeter?

I have yet to enter the world of twitter. I have a slight problem with Facebook status updates for everything from bowel movements to cervix dilation (both of which actually happened and only one was quickly de-friended) and I feel twitter is just one massive status update orgy from hell so I might join next Tuesday, depends on my schedule.

16. Is Rich-Rod out on his ass if Michigan fails to go to a bowl game?

No no no no no no no no no. If you expect a coach to come in, get his players in and win a national title in anything less than 5 years you are kidding yourself. If you fire a coach in less than that time span I think you are hurting your ability to hire a top tier coach in the future as well. Rich and every other coaching candidate in the nation deserves his or her (PC-d) 5 years.

17. Will Daryll Clark be a Heisman finalist?

I don’t think so and here is why. PSU usually rips off stellar years followed closely by mediocre stretches. Here is hoping they are once again off the cliff into mediocrity.

18. Hypothetically, if Penn State makes it to the National Championship game does JoePa call it quits?

Yes, but I think he would after this season anyway. He is just getting his kid adjusted to becoming the head coach and I don’t quite think he is there yet in Joe’s eyes. As soon as he believe his son is capable of running the show I think Joe rides off into the moldy smelling sunset of Shady Pines Retirement Village.

19. Ohio State and Penn State are the favorites, but who’s going to win to the conference?

Ohio State, FML.

20. Is this the year the Big Ten wins the Rose Bowl?

This always depends on the match-ups. Look at last year for instance; you shake up the match-ups and drop OSU to the Rose and subsequently knock all the Big Ten teams down one notch and the bowl record for the Big Ten looks markedly better. To answer your question, the Big Ten never wins the Rose Bowl.