No. 1 – Never trust a man who owns less than three rifles. His only intention is to steal one of yours.

No. 2 – Always sprinkle baking soda down the outhouse hole after beer shits.

No. 3 – Never, under any circumstance, be gay.

No. 4 – Life is coal powered.

No. 6 – Worship loud enough so that only God can hear you.

No. 7 – Watching your cousins at the titty bar is a right of passage for every young man.

No. 8 - Roadkill, it’s what’s for dinner.

No. 9 – The Grand Ole Opry is the only thing worth traveling outside of West Virginia for.

Leave No. 10 in the comments.