Archive for February 2009

CGB Off-Topic: Don’t Use the Self Checkout if…

February through May (minus spring practice) are the doldrums of the college football year. CGB Off-Topic will try to fill part of the gap with anecdotes, rants and ramblings.

Like most young professionals I am always in a rush. I have places to go, people to see and shit to do. I embrace anything that can make my day more efficient. I was pretty happy when stores began replacing pimply faced teenagers with machines to check me out. When self checkout first appeared I could make it through the grocery store faster than a convenience mart. Now that more people are using self checkout it has become an inconvenience.  It’s lines are slower and longer. The problem is it’s not for everyone. In order to help people figure out whether or not they should use self checkout I created this list.

Don’t Use the Self Checkout if…

  • You’re old. Old people are extremely slow. What’s worse is they can fall asleep standing straight up at anytime due to the high volume of medication they’re on and shutdown a whole line.
  • You are paying with food stamps. These machines are not equipped to deal with the poor. I’ve never seen one person paying with food stamps make it through a self checkout without the help of 2+ store employees.
  • You have  more than 1/2 carriage full of items. Suck it up, you bought too much shit and require a bagger.
  • You think AOL is the Internet. You do not understand technology so stay far far away from it.
  • You have a fixed budget. This is not Let’s Make a Deal. Do you understand how obnoxious it is to scan $40 worth of items then void them one at a time until you get below your $20 limit? If you don’t fuck off and go to Canada.

Hopefully this helps assholes.

Drop some knowledge: 3 Comments. Join the conversation.
Rep: BallHype: hype it up! Share ('DiggThis)

LSU v WVU in 2010. Watch out for the Mountaindog

This just in LSU and West Virginia will play a home and home series: 2010 in Baton Rouge and 2011 in Morgantown. Two years ago this would’ve been a marquee matchp-up. Now it’s just the game of the week, because WVU head honcho Bill Stewart is more focused on promoting the state’s natural resources than developing the next Pat White. Regardless everyone knows the game on the field will be bested by the pre-game in the parking lot.  Rarely do two rabid and barbarous fan bases have an opportunity to travel outside conference borders for a regular season game.

Brouhahas between the two are inevitable, but what would really shake the pants off my ass is if they struck an accord.

mountaindog LSU v WVU in 2010. Watch out for the Mountaindog

Fear the byproduct of the Tigers and Mountaineers the Mountaindog. More fanatic than man he is slathered in deer piss and will knock adversaries aside with his battered and deep fried pugil stick. He is the captain of the caravan that sweeps across college campuses displacing locals upon arrival and burning all traces of squatting on exit.  His fandom is rivaled only by his grilling ability. Hide your couches and close your RV lots because he is coming.

H/T EDSBS via Daily Reveille

Drop some knowledge: 2 Comments. Join the conversation.
Rep: BallHype: hype it up! Share ('DiggThis)

Beamer Says Let Vick Play Again

“[Michael Vick’s] sorry for what he’s done and realized he’s made a mistake,” Beamer said. Letting Vick play football again, Beamer said, would give the former quarterback a chance to show the world how it’s possible for a person to redeem themselves after they’ve made a mistake. (TriCities)

Drop some knowledge: 2 Comments. Join the conversation.
Rep: BallHype: hype it up! Share ('DiggThis)

Real Life Tips from Real Life Coaches

In the fun and gun of life, don’t be afraid to bench your starting fear.

spurrier checking out girl Real Life Tips from Real Life Coaches

Drop some knowledge: 3 Comments. Join the conversation.
Rep: BallHype: hype it up! Share ('DiggThis)

Around the Interwebs

Failed to sign that coveted recruit, don’t get your panties in a wad.

Recruiting as a science is as exact as meteorology. Getting worked up over whether or not an 18 year old chooses your school is futile. For everyone who says he’s the next Michael Vick there’s at least one person who says he’s overrated and will never contribute. Newsome’s probably somewhere in the middle.

Gobbler Country is right more likely than not they don’t become that next superstar.

Doug wonders whether or not he should befriend Lane Kiffin on Facebook.

my friend kiffykins Around the Interwebs

We vote a unanimous yes for the chance at seeing more pictures of Layla.

Nick Montana is the 2010 recruiting class’ big name

He’s been offered scholarships by Florida State, LSU, Notre Dame, Ohio State, South Carolina, Stanford and now Alabama will throw their hat into the ring. Ohio State has been courting Montana and has told him they won’t offer another QB to succeed Terrelle Pryor until he makes his decision. He hasn’t even graduated high school yet and his bar has been set multiple national championships high.

Fulmer Cup points for UVA!

Officers charged 20-year-old Corey Anthony Mosley (center) with disorderly conduct after police say he became combative and refused to comply with event staff and University Police. 19-year-old Ausar Amad Walcott (left) was charged with obstruction of justice after he allegedly attempted to interfere as Mosley was being taken into custody.

1180296 Around the Interwebs

Around the Interwebs is a whenever-the-eff-I-feel-like-it-a-week summary of the day’s news in college football. If you’de like your link to appear email it to cgb [at] collegegameaballs [dot] com.

Drop some knowledge: be the FIRST!!!1!.
Rep: BallHype: hype it up! Share ('DiggThis)

NCAA Football 10 Wishlist

My Xbox 360 is involved in a monogamous relationship with NCAA Football 09. Aside from Tecmo Super Bowl it’s the only video game I play regularly (growing up sucks).  I’m a pretty hardcore player. My Virginia Tech dynasty is going for their 10th National Championship in 10 seasons, I play in three online dynasties, logged over 100 online games and I’ve recently undergone the task of making Washington football into the elite of the Pac-10. Yes, I really do miss those fall Saturdays… 

While I consider the NCAA franchise to be the best football game available, there are still some features missing that I’d like to see in the upcoming NCAA 10 release. Which from the picture below is looking quite bad ass.

ncaablogpost21 NCAA Football 10 Wishlist

http://insideblog.easports.com/archive/tags/NCAA+Football/default.aspx

Without further adieu I present CollegeGameBalls.com’s NCAA Football 10 Wish List

  • A more evolved Wildcat. An eight play package was a good start, but more plays and variety are needed for it to be really effective.  Creating a new Wildcat position would be helpful, because it would be nice if your 99 speed corner could take the snaps.
  • Better bump and run AI by the secondary. It really annoys me when I bring my secondary up to press for them to immediately run backwards and let me opponent turn a 5 yard slant into a huge gain.
  • No more challenges and instant replays. Yes it makes the game more realistic, but a video game is an officiating utopia. Don’t intentionally make the wrong calls so it seems more lifelike.
  • Bring back throwback jerseys complete with helmets.
  • Add the option of determining the national champion by a playoff to dynasty mode. Obviously the BCS rules the real college football world, but NCAA 10 can get it right.
  • Improved game day atmosphere: referees on the field, players showing emotion after a big play, chain gangs moving up and down the sidelines, more realistic sideline and fan animations.
  • Chippier rivalry games: pushing, shoving and jawing
  • Complete control over your custom playbook and audibles that you can bring online.
  • Better offensive and defensive line play, right now its one step above big mounds of digital flesh bumping into each other.
  • Multiple pre-snap shifts.
  • Neutral site games in dynasty mode.
  • Fix the broken offensive plays, QB Read plays haven’t worked since their inception.
  • Give us something new and fresh that we haven’t dreamed up yet.

We welcome any other additions in the comments.

Drop some knowledge: 14 Comments. Join the conversation.
Rep: BallHype: hype it up! Share ('DiggThis)

David Buehler is Jacked

The USC kicker bench-pressed 225 pounds 25 times. For some perspective, that bettered 27 offensive linemen, including Michael Oher and Eugene Monroe. (NFL FanHouse)

Drop some knowledge: be the FIRST!!!1!.
Rep: BallHype: hype it up! Share ('DiggThis)

Around the Interwebs

Andre Smith peaced out the NFL combine unexpectedly Saturday.

Smith, considered among the top three prospects at his position, abruptly left the NFL scouting combine Saturday, skipping his workout and flying to Alabama unannounced. He told the NFL Network he did so to continue preparations for his March 11 pro day on campus.

Smith, who didn’t feel ready to perform for teams here, had been booked on a 4 p.m. flight but changed his reservation to leave at 6 a.m.

Obviously he had to make sure he was home on time for his mom Nessa’s Saturday dinner.

Nebraska QB to be will transfer. Patrick Witt was the off-season favorite to replace Joe Ganz in Lincoln. Official outlets close to the situation are mum as of now

“We have no comment and Patrick has no comment. He’s leaving,” Gene Witt said Sunday night.

However, Nebraska message boards are full of conjecture and supposition. The most popular theory is JUCO transfer Zac Lee is more mobile (a trait desired by offensive coordinator Shawn Watson) has been practicing with the starters and looking impressive in 7 on 7 drills.  The wackiest thing I read is that Patrick was intentionally teaching true freshman Cody Green the wrong signals.

Slumdog Millionaire banked eight Academy Awards including Best Picture and Director, Danny Boyle. From the opening torture scene through the ending musical number Slumdog had me on the edge of my seat. You can see the full list of winners here.

Around the Interwebs is a whenever-the-eff-I-feel-like-it-a-week summary of the day’s news in college football. If you’de like your link to appear email it to cgb [at] collegegameaballs [dot] com.

Drop some knowledge: be the FIRST!!!1!.
Rep: BallHype: hype it up! Share ('DiggThis)

CGB Off-Topic: When I Grow Up…

February through May (minus spring practice) are the doldrums of the college football year. CGB Off-Topic will try to fill part of the gap with anecdotes, rants and ramblings.

likemommy CGB Off Topic: When I Grow Up...


Drop some knowledge: be the FIRST!!!1!.
Rep: BallHype: hype it up! Share ('DiggThis)

Lou Holtz to lead Irish-American Forces against Japan

When Notre Dame asks you to coach, you don’t say no, so Lou Holtz will fly to Tokyo in July to coach the Fighting Irish legends team against Japan’s national American football team. (SignOnSanDiego.com)

Drop some knowledge: 1 Comment. (S)he needs a friend.
Rep: BallHype: hype it up! Share ('DiggThis)