Every week the Eers give the rest of college football fans another reason to mock them and this week’s is definitely original.  A WVU fan is eBaying his beard.

That is what Mountaineers do for one another! We share beards! Go Mounties!

In all seriousness, this is the next best thing to actually tattooing Fuck With Us on your forehead.  It gets better as one of the questions for the item is priceless.

Q: my 9 year old son has been wanting armpit hair for Christmas this year…do you think he could use your beard for this? just asking… go mountaineers!!!

A: Ah, what a perfect gift! I think the beard would be a great option for your son’s current lack of armpit hair. This will be an impressive addition for basketball practices, Cub Scout meetings, family dinners, church outings, etc. Plus, the ladies will love it! Watch out George Clooney! Good Luck and Go Mounties!!!!!

My guess is the winner makes a merkin out of it.

In case we all don’t know the concept of Bowl Mania I will take a second to explain. Pick the winner of every bowl game with a unique confidence (1-32) and earn those confidence points with each correct pick.

32. Kansas v Virginia Tech

Why? Kansas is overrated as fuck. They beat absolutely no one while Virginia Tech has had to overcome adversity and defeat quality opponents on rout to their 2nd ACC Championship

Why Not? There is no why not. This is my most confident pick. I will not be wrong.

31. Illinois v USC

Why? USC is ten fold more talented and their head coach can actually coach a big game.

Why Not? The Zooker is more unpredictable than a dirty bomb. He could pull out a Juice Williams tailored bag of tricks and pull it out.

30. Ball State v Rutgers

Why? Ball State sucks. If you were to test my fandom by asking me where Ball State is located I’de have to immediately change the subject.

Why Not? Ray Rice could break a leg…

29. Michigan v Florida

Why? Michigan cannot stop the spread and Florida has the best spread QB ever.

Why Not? It’s fucking Lllloyd Carr’s last game. Surely he has something other than a halftime interview snub in his back pocket.

28. Boise St v East Carolina

Why? Ian Johnson.

Why Not? Father Lou may have given son Skip a pep talk. Hahahaha I am so drunk I am making myself laugh. Fucking Lou Holtz is a senile old fuck. How many times do you think Mark May has just wanted to spear him? I bet 274.

27. South Florida v Oregon

Why? Dennis Dixon isn’t playing.

Why Not? Shit, Oregon players could have gotten their hands on some sort of performance enhancing marijuana.

26. LSU v Ohio State

Why? LSU has earned it. They have played tough all year long and will finally be healthy. The last time they were healthy they shat on VT.

Why Not? As much as I hate to admit it Tressel is a good head coach and wants to show last year wasn’t a fluke.

25. Georgia v Hawaii

Why? After Boise St > Oklahoma Georgia will not be taking this game lightly.

Why Not? Colt Brennan. If he’s as a good as June Jones says he is he could put up 4 td on rout to a W.

24. Missouri v Arkansas

Why? Arkansas has no reason to get up for this game while Missouri wants to set the stage for next year.

Why Not? Darren McFadden.

23. Boston College v Michigan St

Why? Matt Ryan.

Why Not? Michigan St wants to make Mike Valenti proud.

Continue Reading “CollegeGameBalls’ Bowl Mania” »

The current shit-a-thon on WVU continues. Coach Kidd a disc jockey and co-host of Electric 102.7’s morning show in Charleston, WV repeatedly played “The Victors” (no its not called Hail to the Victors) and really pissed off listeners. He has been indefinitely removed from the airwaves.

After playing the Wolverines’ fight song for a fourth time this morning, Coach Kidd [a Michigan Native] was yanked off the air.

How salty are Mountaineer fans right now? Extremely. Even though, from what I have read, heard and saw burnt it seems like they are taking the position of we’re better off without him and \ or good riddance. Again, like a small child pouting this is the front they are putting up. Obviously they are more upset about Rodriguez leaving and know they are fucked over the next couple of years.

Listeners have been complaining that Coach Kidd’s extravagant support of Rodriguez’s controversial decision is disrespectful to the state.

Yes supporting a native West Virginian is extremely disrespectful to the state. Grow up WVU fans and…

Hail! to the victors valiant
Hail! to the conqu’ring heroes
Hail! Hail! to Michigan
The leaders and best

Hail! to the victors valiant
Hail! to the conqu’ring heroes
Hail! Hail! to Michigan,
The champions of the West!
Go Blue!

Big money boosters of WVU football \ athletics are also pissed Rodriguez left for Michigan.  Sadly they are not burning things and posting youtube videos.  However, they are ripping the WVU administrators a new asshole.

“I tell you what, I’ve never seen anything mishandled as much as this was,” Bob Reynolds, former chief operating officer of Fidelity Investments, said yesterday. “Here’s a university that made a $200,000 decision — it probably could’ve cost less than that [to keep Mr. Rodriguez] — and it’s going to cost them millions” in booster support, potential bowl money and revenue from football success.

“I’ve had calls from at least six major contributors to the program, and they’re all done [donating] because they know the Mickey Mouse things that have gone on there,” Mr. Reynolds continued. “I’ve been in business 36 years, and it’s the worst business decision I’ve ever seen. I’ve been the COO of a 45,000-person company. When somebody’s producing, you ask, ‘What can I do for you to make your life better?’ Not ‘What can I do to make your life more miserable?’ They have no idea how big this is. It’s frightening.”

So in part it seems like keeping him was a money issue.  Real intelligent WVU.  Here’s a quick lesson in business.  Very Large sum of money – small expense = Very Large sum of money.  Like any employee, every year you have to give them a little more.  Here are Rodriguez’ demands WVU didn’t meet: allotting another $100,000 for his assistant’s bonuses, allowing scholarship players to keep their books so they can sell them at the end of the semester, allowing high school football coaches to attend the games for free (currently a $5 fee), hiring 7 graduate assistants and a recruiting coordinator.  It would be one thing if he were asking for another million in salary, but his demands are all trying to help his players and staff.

And now for the quote of the year

“Maybe we should be a farm system,” Mr. Hartley added, “until our coaches get good enough that they can coach at Michigan.”

These videos really give you some insight as to what’s going through the mind of the West Virginia fan. Here’s what I’ve taken away from watching them.

1. Originally I thought they just liked to burn their couches. I was wrong. Whether they are pissed, happy or plain old excited they like to burn things. I wouldn’t be surprised if West Virginian public schools replaced the exclamation point with a miniature burning couch picture. “May you burn like this schedule Richie “
2. They realize they are fucked now that Rodriguez is gone. They have to keep reassuring themselves that West Virginia football with survive and continue to maintain their level of success post Rodriguez. They know it won’t though.
3. I’m impressed by the fact that not only can they afford the Internet and web-cams, but they can get their videos on youtube. Fuck, I can’t even do that

Country Roads. False!

How do you know your football team is not a legitimate marquee program?  When your alumnus head coach has a 60-26 record, brought the school to two BCS games and still peaces for another program.  That’s right.  Rich Rodriguez has left the “great” state of West Virginia for the University of Michigan.  This isn’t the first coach The Wolverines have pilfered the Mountaineers either.  Rodriguez joins former West Virginia basketball coach John Beilein at Michigan.

I personally don’t understand why Rodriguez left.  I always thought as an alumnus your dream job would be to coach your school, turn them into a winning program and compete for National Championships.  Maybe that’s just my goal as “Virginia Tech Coach” in NCAA ‘08.  Whatever the reason I am just going to go ahead and speculate on how bad its going to be for WVU over the next couple of years.

1. You are going to replace Rodriguez with a guy who isn’t fit to hold his clipboard.
2. Oklahoma is going to thump you.  Hard.
3. You will no longer be top dog in the Big East.
4. Forget signing Noel Devine like recruits.
5. Say hello to the Meineke Car Care Bowl

Country Roads.  Haha. False!

We all know about Bo Jackson’s legendary Tecmo speed and agility. Now become a believer in Christian Okoye’s Hitting Power.

I guess this relates to college football because I once decided to watch Showgirls at midnight instead of some bullshit Fresno St game.