On the eve of the Hitler versus Stalin showdown of Notre Dame Duke this weekend Lou Holtz delivered the coup de grace of Pep Talks. This week’s talk was the top of the line, packed full of senile statements, early 90s clothing and because it was Notre Dame blind hope. But what did the parties involved as well as the average college football fan take away from the speech?

Charlie Weis - Well even if we lose on Saturday I can still eat a steak and be happy. I wonder how many steaks I can buy with 40 million dollars over the next 10 years.

The Notre Dame Player - Isn’t it pathetic that old balls Coach Holtz has instilled the urge in me to go out and crack skulls right now and Coach Weis has to coach a practice from a golf cart. God damn. Tomorrow I may just find some wiener on campus to bird dog and hit from the time he steps off the bus until he gets back on.

The Casual Fan - What did Lou Holtz do to deserve this? Did he stink palm a suit at ESPN or something…

The Duke Player - Cars, steaks and cruises… Shit with my degree from Duke I’m going to have all that, as well as bragging rights against all the Notre Dame alumni employed under me after we win Saturday.

Got more? Leave em in the comments.