In honor of The Office returning to television this week we Present The College Football Dundies.

Grace Under Fire Award - Mario Urrutia
Louisville’s Wide Receiver dropped 5 balls throughout the course of the game and accounted for two very costly Unsportsmanlike Conduct penalties late in the 2nd half.  Louisville’s D might not have done their job, but Mario Urrutia was a big contributing factor to this loss.  Way to keep it together and give your team a chance D Bag.

(Runner Up) - Art Carmody
UL’s kicker who further shot his team in the foot by kicking an onside attempt that traveled a staggering 4 yards.  Syracuse got the ball and ran out the clock.

Whitest Sneakers (Cleats) Award - Penn State’s Offense
The only thing offensive about Penn St was Joe Pa’s Octogenarian breath.  Penn St going into this game averaged 45 points a game, 412 total yards on offense, and converted 60% of their 3rd downs.  Michigan’s D, which was non existent against a 1-AA team, and Oregon held the Nittany Lions to 0 touchdowns, 270 total yards, and allowed them to convert only 33 % of 3rd downs.  Michigan’s end zones had too much mud in them for Penn St and they needed their cleats clean to, apparently, match the “Whiteout.”

(Runner Up) - ND’s Defense
They gave up 30 points for the 6th consecutive game this week, but seriously, was anyone surprised?

Don’t Go In There After Me Award - USC Trojans
Their win over Wazzu makes it a 35 home game win streak.  The Trojans seem unbeatable at The Coliseum; the next challengers to the throne?  Stanford. Looks like USC will improve to 36.

(Runner Up) - The Gators
They have a 17 game win streak in The Swamp.  Look out Auburn.

Spicy Curry Award - South Carolina
The Ol Ball Coach and his boys got a heaping dish of the Cajun Persuajan on Saturday that left their palates scorched.  To combat 3rd degree burns by LSU’s D, South Carolina tried almost every QB on the roster.  A field goal late in the game by South Carolina confirmed that they were suffering from heat stroke, as it left them still down by 3 scores. (18 as opposed to 21)  LSU after beating its second ranked opponent this year looks “HOT HOT HOT.”

(Runner Up) - Im not sure…
Is Hawaiian food spicy? If so then, Charleston Southern who got torched 66-10.

Tight Ass Award - Arkansas’ Defense
For the second consecutive week Arkansas let up 40 points in a loss.  Houston Nutt isn’t long for this world.  Even with huge talents D MAC and Felix Jones he still managed to give these games away.  When your RB rushes for 200 yards and two TDs and your QB passes for 145 and 3 TDs and you still lose, something needs fixing.  Psst, it’s your defense.

(Runner Up) - Nebraska’s Defense
You let Ball St put up 40 and almost upset you.  You also let them gain more rushing yards, first downs, total yards, and allowed them fewer penalties at your home field.  But then again, if I was in crowd for this game, I might have been just as quiet as everyone else.

Show Me the Money Award - South Florida Head Coach Jim Leavitt
You know Jim Leavitt is screaming this at the top of his lungs every time his team wins.  A couple more wins and the Bulls are on their way to another Bowl Game, and Jim is on his way to a contract extension, or a new school and a bigger contract.

(Runner Up) - ND Alumni.
They are shouting this same phrase, but for much different reasons.  Demanding Charlie Weis show them why he deserves the largest contract in college football after producing the worst start in school history and ranking 119 in almost every facet of offense.  Give me 4.5 million a year and I will coach the Irish to a 0-4 start too.

Fine Work Award - Tom O’ Brien
Let’s all take a minute to commend Tom on the fine work he has done reviving NC St, oh wait, they are 1-3.  Their only win comes from 1-AA Wofford.  Hmm Tom, maybe you shouldn’t have packed it in at BC seeing how they are 4-0 and are on top in the Atlantic.

(Runner Up) - Dave Wannstedt
His NFL genius fell short this week as Pitt stumbled against UCONN, I mean come the fuck on.  UCONN???  If not for a home job last week they would have lost to Temple.  Side note, Dave Wannstedt is also responsible for injuring Ricky Williams, when he, as head coach of the Dolphins, implemented first team versus first team live scrimmages in full pads during the season.

Hottest in the Office Award - Erin Andrews
ESPN got it right when they decided to disarm grumpy Head Coaches by presenting them with a cute girl who has almost zero knowledge of football.  The pretty face catches them off guard and the pea sized knowledge of the game allows them to lob softball questions at these guys.  All in all, good deal.

(Runner Up) - Anyone other than Holly Rowe
How that cow of a woman got this job is beyond me.  I’d say she slept with a producer, but that’s how all the good looking ones got theirs.

Bushiest Beaver Award - WVU’s Cheerleaders
While watching WVU destroy ECU, I was certain I caught a glimpse of a cheerleader who seemed to forget “something” when she got dressed in the morning.  It could have been a thong, but it wasn’t the normal granny panties.  Either way even if she did remember her undies, I’m sure none of those girls shave, because people from WV have poor hygiene.

(Runner Up) - I don’t know, probably Wyoming’s cheerleaders, I doubt very much their hygiene is on par with the rest of America either.