Gay Falcon fans aren’t holding Joey Harrington’s off-season wedding against him and are getting behind their quarterback. 

“I’m excited about the season and yes, I find Harrington attractive. Who wouldn’t?” says Gregory Hendricks, a gay Falcons fan in Atlanta. “Even my gay friends who don’t like football, they like him. All of my friends who hate sports, once they see him they say, ‘Hey, I’ll go to a game to see him.’”

Mike Horton, a gay football fan in Atlanta who roots for the New England Patriots, says Harrington may change his perspective and prompt him to give the Falcons a second look. “It’s interesting what an extreme opposite Harrington is to our previous quarterback. I like the fact that he’s suave and polished, but boy, is he pretty. I think I might try to make a few more games this year,” he says.

This definitely sounds like the typical conversation among women discussing football.

One can only conclude that new Steeler’s Mascot Steely McBeam is, “omg so upset and jelous” that no men are finding him sexy and sophisticated.

Seriously though, I think Harrington is going to have a better year than Eli Manning.  Petrino is going to be aggressive and throw the shit out of the ball and the 1st round WR picks by Falcons are actually going to be coached to catch it.

Everyone’s no brainer as preseason #1 is USC. Sitting right behind the Trojans in every poll are the LSU Tigers. Maybe the Tigers will storm through the SEC and earn, at a minimum a BCS, but probable National Championship berth. This was my thinking only a few months ago. The formula seemed to fit: talent, speed and a top-noch defense. But last year all of that plus the #1 pick in the NFL draft at QB only equalled 11-2. Why is this year going to be more successful?

It won’t be. The two most important positions on a college football team are quarterback and running back. If you have a stud at either one and you are going to be good. If you have both you are going to be great. As a college football junky I couldn’t tell you who LSU’s starting running back is and Matt Flynn behind center is not going to be 1/2 a JaMarcus Russell. By the end of the year this team may be great, but by then early losses will have ruined their BCS chances.

I bet most of you thought this was going to start off with the opening seconds of an Asian school girl being blasted in the face. False. Get your mind out of the gutter. I am going to wrap up the college football previews this week with everything that hasn’t been covered yet. First, some interesting quick notes. Virginia Tech has moved backup QB Ike Whitaker to WR. This is great news, Tyrod is now one injury away from leading us to National Championships. Hoorah! The Ole Ball Coach suspended Blake Mitchell for the opener against Louisiana-Lafayette for excessive absence from summer school classes. Go Chris Smelley. In addition to being fat, Charlie Weis is being covert about who his starting QB is going to be. Now onto the show.

BCS Bowl Games

• BCS National Championship – USC over Louisville
• Rose – Wisconsin over UCLA
• Sugar – Florida over Michigan
• Fiesta – LSU over Texas A&M
• Orange – Virginia Tech over Hawaii

Five Players you will Know by the End of the Season

• Mario Urrutia – Louisville WR
• Andre Woodson – Kentucky QB
• Xavier Adibi – Virginia Tech LB
• Jonathan Stewart – Oregon RB
• Chase Daniel – Missouri QB

Five Absolute Upsets

• 9/1 – Duke Over UConn
• 9/8 – South Carolina over Georgia
• 10/3 – Bama over LSU
• 11/10 – Illini over OSU
• 11/24 – Kentucky over Tennessee

Week 2 of CGB College Football Previews are here. The Conference is an important college football bragging right. We all know our conference is better than the rest. Even if your team is in the shitter, your conference still may let you piss all over your friends. Unless you are a scummy Notre Dame fan. In that case your head is too far up your own ass to realize you are anything but God.

In recent conference news the Big Ten (11) is trying to expand to 12 teams in order to reap the benefit of a big money championship game. However, schools are balking due to the initiation shown here in cartoon form.

Without further adieu, here is how we are ranking the conferences. First each conference is ranked from strongest to weakest. Second we ranked each team inside the conference from best to worst. Third we picked the conference champions.

1. SEC – Florida (Champion), LSU (West Champion), Georgia, Arkansas, Auburn, South Carolina, Tennessee, Alabama, Kentucky, Vanderbilt, Ole Miss, Mississippi State
2. PAC 10 – USC (Champion), UCLA, Oregon, California, Arizona, Arizona St, Oregon St, Washington St, Washington, Stanford
3. Big 12 – Texas A&M (Champion), Nebraska, Texas, Oklahoma, Texas Tech, Missouri, Oklahoma St, Colorado, Kansas State, Iowa State, Baylor, Kansas
4. Big Ten – Wisconsin (Champion), Michigan, Ohio State, Penn State, Illinois, Iowa, Minnesota, Purdon’t, Indiana, Michigan St, Northwestern (Take that Wilbon ‘08)
5. ACC – Virginia Tech (Champion), Florida State (Atlantic Champion), Georgia Tech, Boston College, Miami, Maryland, Clemson, Virginia, Wake Forest, UNC, NC State, Duke
6. Big East – Louisville (Champion), West Virginia, Rutgers, South Florida, Pittsburgh, Connecticut, Cincinnati, Syracuse
7. IA Independents – Navy, Army, Notre Dame

How fucking sick is this kid going to be? A rhetorical question that we all know the answer to, extremely. I always thought I would go to the grave without seeing VT win one National Championship, but with Tyrod behind center and top 5 defenses in the coming years I think there is a shot. I am not sure where he is on the depth chart is right now, but he has to be better than Sean Glennon. In regards to Glennon, I tried positive thinking. But, now that the season is getting closer all I can remember is Glennon not being able to throw down field and fumbling the ball after getting blindsided because he couldn’t read a corner blitz.

Since this is a supposed college football blog and we haven’t talked any Saturday pigskin in a while each week we will bring you a new preview. This week’s preview The Heisman. A little Heisman history. The Heisman has been presented every year since 1935. It was started when a US Senate committee needed a 20 year plan for recycling the penny to make way for 2 cent piece. Former Heisman winners are given a vote and while too consumed with smoking pot Ricky Williams’ mother fills his out. Ron Dayne is the only fat player to win the Heisman. The only two time winner Archie Griffin, is said to use the pair as bookends for his complete TV Guide collection. Don’t you feel enriched?

Favorites

Steve Slayton – West Virginia

Darren McFadden – Arkansas

John David Booty – USC

Colt Brennan – Hawaii

Contenders

Mike Hart – Michigan

Brian Brohm – Louisville

Ray Rice – Rutgers

Ian Johnson – Boise St

The Steelers have settled on the franchises first team mascot. After careful consideration of more than 70,000 applicants Steely McBeam, submitted by Diane Roles, was chosen. The following questions quickly come to mind: how awful are the other 69,000 names, is Diane an actual Steelers fan or a Cowboys fan living in Pennsylvania and finally is this name any better than Pound me in the Ass Steel Neil?

VTBaz has suggested renaming the team Queerlers.