I recently read the Patriots are interested in acquiring Randy Moss. I think this a great idea and both Moss and Belichick could learn a lot from each other.

Bill Could Help Randy:

• Have affairs with married women. Talk about pushing it to the limit. The coach would teach Moss that married women need loving by him too. Why limit yourself to just single bitches when there are plenty of good looking married ones with nothing but time?
• Treat ex-teammates with the respect they deserve. The coach would reinforce the notion that a player not playing on your team is your enemy. Win or lose treat them with as little respect as possible. Including, but not limited to: not making eye contact, casually brushing their handshake off (or if unavoidable spitting on your hand right before shaking) and using excessive profanity during any verbal confrontation.

Randy Could Help Bill:

• Hit pedestrians with an automobile while high. Pretty self explanatory.
• Moon fans during road games. Nothing would put the cherry on the top of a double-digit road win quite like the coaches old wrinkled ass glowing over the faces of irate fans.
• Rock an afro. Not only can Moss run fast, jump high and catch passes but he can tease the fuck out of hair.
• Land a large mouth bass. The thrill of wearing three Super Bowl rings doesn’t come close to the excitement of reeling in a big one.
• Open up a little more during a press conference and do a few more interviews to bring in some more Kraft Singles.